OBAMA RENAMES GOV’T: “FEDERAL FAMILY”

WASHINGTON, DC – The White House has officially renamed the U.S. Government of the U.S. Federal Family.

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MICHELE BACHMANN INVITES MICHAEL JACKSON TO DC

SPARTANBURG, SC – A day after wishing Elvis Presley “Happy Birthday” on the anniverary of his death, Michele Bachmann invited MJ to Washington.

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GATES PULLS PLUG ON DEFENSE SPENDING

area-51

WASHINGTON, DC – The government has been forced to pull back on defense spending.  Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is pulling funding on F22 and Area 51, which is expected to close within the month. 

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JUPITER AND VENUS CITIZENS MOON EARTH

NEW HAVEN, CT – Astronomers have announced that Jupiter and Venus will shine unusually brightly during a conjunction tonight.

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MCCAIN EBAYS GOVERNMENT SECRETS

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an attempt to boost his chances, McCain offered to fix the economy by selling secret government artifacts on Ebay.

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INTERNET SPAMMERS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!

I’m madder than a rooster in an empty hen house at Internet spammers and I won’t take it anymore. Those creeps clutter up my e-mail with their junk, everything from penis enlargement pills to some lady telling me she’ll give me a million dollars if I’ll help her get her money out of Africa.

Oil Drill Opens Hole Into Hell

PRUDHOE BAY, AK –  Something is emerging from Hell!

That is the horrifying warning of more than 60 eyewitnesses who have seen the monstrous shape roaring out of a mile-deep Alaskan oil well amid stinking clouds of sulfur.

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