FIDEL CASTRO MEETS THE ALIEN

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HAVANA, CUBA – Fidel Castro met with US lawmakers for the first time in years this Tuesday.  Political expert the Alien was on hand to assist with the talks. 

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GATES PULLS PLUG ON DEFENSE SPENDING

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WASHINGTON, DC – The government has been forced to pull back on defense spending.  Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is pulling funding on F22 and Area 51, which is expected to close within the month. 

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