ALIENS MAKING DEPOSITS IN OUR SPERM BANKS!
BONN, GERMANY — Cagey Gootans are making donations to hundreds of unsuspecting sperm banks here on Earth. It’s a sinister scheme to conquer our planet without ever firing a shot! … READ MORE
Gootans
IS YOUR SPOUSE AN ALIEN?
10 WAYS TO TELL IF YOU HAVE AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL IN YOUR HOME Many top scientists believe that aliens live secretly among us. The sneaking intergalactic travelers often pose as our … READ MORE
ALIENS ARE EVERYWHERE
Scientists Warn “The Invasion Already Happened!” In movies, aliens are usually depicted as humanoid creatures with smooth features and large eyes. But Howard T. Houseplant, an astronomer and parapsychologist with … READ MORE
GOOTANS OFFER CORONAVIRUS ADVICE
They’ve dealt with it before! The world is in the grips of coronavirus fever. Every day brings updated numbers of those infected, and breathless stories about clusters where the virus … READ MORE
POPULAR ALIEN TELEVISION SHOW CANCELED!
GOODBYE, OPTION EIGHT! GOOTAN FAVORITE IS OVER! Option Eight, the popular television comedy that transfixed generations of viewers, was canceled last week. If you didn’t hear about it, that’s no … READ MORE
THE ZEEBANS ARE COMING!
AND THEY HAVE CORONAVIRUS ADVICE The world is in the grips of coronavirus fever. Every day brings updated numbers of those infected and breathless stories about clusters where the virus … READ MORE
ALIENS FIXED THE SUPERBOWL!
Super Bowl LIV, which found the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco 49’ers battling for National Football League supremacy, turned out to be an exciting contest, with a tight … READ MORE
ALIENS SEIZE GIULIANI’S BRAIN!
Aliens from the planet Gootan have seized the brain of Rudy Giuliani, the former mayor of New York City and the personal lawyer of President Donald J. Trump. Gootan-X-118-L, the … READ MORE
ALIEN SPACESHIPS TO ATTACK!
WASHINGTON, DC – Three giant alien spaceships are approaching earth and should land on the planet in early November of this year. The United States is officially on “alien red … READ MORE
ALIEN ICE FALLS ON BROOKLYN
Chunks of alien ice balls fell from the sky on an 80-degree day in Brooklyn.