WASHINGTON – The White House has approved the redesign of U.S. currency. Barack Obama will be on the new dollar bill.
John Boehner
STUDY: CONGRESS FILLED WITH MORONS!
CAMBRIDGE, MA – A groundbreaking study has determined that 83% of the members of Congress are certified morons!
OBAMA RENAMES GOV’T: “FEDERAL FAMILY”
WASHINGTON, DC – The White House has officially renamed the U.S. Government of the U.S. Federal Family.
SUPER CONGRESS TO MAKE STOCK MARKET SOAR!
WASHINGTON, DC – The Super Congress met in secret last night. Word leaked that they will make the stock market rise and heal the earth!
GEORGE SOROS JOINS REPUBLICAN PARTY
George Soros made a stunning announcement: he is leaving the Democrat Party and joining the GOP!
"EAT YOUR PEAS" SUMMIT
WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama called a “Peas Summit” to reignite the debt ceiling talks.
REPUBLICANS CONCEDE 2012 ELECTION!
WASHINGTON – The Republican National Committee and GOP leaders have conceded the 2012 election to President Barack Obama!
REPUBLICANS TO READ BIBLE ON HOUSE FLOOR
WASHINGTON – A day after reading the U.S. Constitution, Republicans will read the Bible in the house floor.
AYODHYA VERDICT – LAND GOES TO OBAMA
INDIA – An important ruling was handed down today regarding disputed land. The verdict: the land goes to Obama!
ERIC CANTOR AND BRITNEY SPEARS
WASHINGTON, DC – Sparking bipartisan outrage on the Hill, House Minority Whip Eric Cantor admitted to skipping President Obama’s press conference to “Get his dance on.”