ALIEN PREDICTS ROMNEY LANDSLIDE!

Mitt Romney has secured the coveted endorsement of the Washington space alien P’Lod, who predicts Romney will win in a landslide!

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BIDENBOT MALFUNCTIONS AGAIN

WASHINGTON — BidenBot, the lifelike, cybernetic machine that poses as Vice President Joe Biden during most of his public appearances, has malfunctioned again during a recent press conference.

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GOP TAPS ‘CHILD PRODIGY’ STRATEGIST FOR ELECTION

According to reports, Republicans are employing 12-year-old “child prodigy” Billy Hogbin for the fall presidential election.

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MCCAIN EBAYS GOVERNMENT SECRETS

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an attempt to boost his chances, McCain offered to fix the economy by selling secret government artifacts on Ebay.

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