RUSSIA SWAPS PUTIN FOR PALIN

AUSTRIA –  In a secret swap on the tarmac of the Vienna airport, Russia and the United States returned their respective spies: Vladmir Putin and Sarah Palin.

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PhD APE TO COUNSEL MCCAIN FOLLOWING HISTORIC LOSS

PHOENIX, AZ – After losing the 2008 presidential election by nearly 200 electoral votes and nearly six percent of the popular vote, Senator John McCain is understandably in very low spirits.

MCCAIN EBAYS GOVERNMENT SECRETS

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an attempt to boost his chances, McCain offered to fix the economy by selling secret government artifacts on Ebay.

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MCCAIN NEGOTIATES BETWEEN ANGELS & DEMONS

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – Angels and demons have quietly entered into peace talks, thanks to Senator John McCain!

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