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Undead Demand Health Insurance

Washington, DC – The nation’s undead community is demanding the right to health insurance—and it is a battle it can win, say experts.


“We can’t issue health insurance to people who are technically not alive,” says one insurance industry spokesman. “But there is a possibility that we can provide undead plans, especially if the insured are nonsmokers.”
However, the government is firmly against the move.
A Capitol Hill insider says when insurance for vampires, werewolves and other undead species was mentioned to President Bush, he said it was “like a stake through his heart,” especially with Democratic members of Congress calling for the establishment of a Department of Undead Affairs.
“Aren’t the undead susceptible to their own weaknesses, like garlic and holy water?” asks one Democratic congresswoman. “Surely they have a right to insurance like everyone else.”
Both presidential candidates have been asked for their opinion on undead health insurance at recent rallies. Senator Obama responded, “I would be more than happy to discuss undead coverage in the future, once we’ve sorted out the living first.”
Senator McCain was less supportive. “When I become President, I am seriously considering putting a spending freeze on everything except defense and the caring of our veterans. Undead insurance is not exactly at the top of my list,” he snickered.
Vampire spokesman Anton Dreisch told Weekly World News: “I believe President Bush and Senator McCain have declared war on vampires and other members of the undead because they don’t think we’re part of their constituency. A number of us are Republicans. It’s not like we died and came back to life with different politics. That would be absurd!”
“Big Washington needs to think really hard about what they’re getting themselves into if we are denied. We literally have all the time in the world to fight for this.”

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14 thoughts on “Undead Demand Health Insurance”

  1. Is something going on with Healt Insurance policies? I just had a 50% reduction in my premiums. Might just be my company but I thought I would ask to see if anyone else has seen a drop in rates?

    Reply
  2. Why Do we have to pay for insurance? I think, that government and insurance companies make money on people and fool them. And how about people, who can't pay for insurance (they don't have enough money for it)?
    I don't have insurance because I think, that so I can save a lot of money and I advise it everybody: Don't pay for insurance!
    Thank you for your review and good lock!;)

    Reply
  3. In some areas on earth, the daytime vampire fad could easily be misunderstood for the real thing and get killed easily. How lucky can you be to be in the USA!
    Health insurance? Who can optimize such casts? The secret service is probably on them often times.
    I think there is a missing link in such people and that is guts for the accountability of oneself from the total being perspective. Practice self-driven power, that awakened ability that really pays on earth and survives the so called physical dead after all!…

    Reply
  4. According to my brother that Health insurance is not Good but I can't understand what's the problem? Anyways,
    This is such a great post, and was thinking much the same myself. Another great update.

    Reply

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