All Hallow’s Eve draws near and with it, the end of humanity! So decorate, celebrate and don’t complain about it, whiners! Ye be warned! All unoccupied property WILL turn into a Spirit Halloween! Keep the rent nice and current…Brawhahahaha! editor@weeklyworldnews.com – if it’s a real problem, call someone who cares. If you want Dotti advice, … READ MORE
Doomscrolling your life away! People, get it together! At least there’s one reader who knows partying ain’t just for the weekends. editor@weeklyworldnews.com if you want REAL answers. If you want some phony baloney, call a therapist. HOLY WAR? Dear Dotti, I’m a typical stressed-out mom. One day, I got so overwhelmed trying to do everything … READ MORE
A REDNECK VAMPIRE has been found in Alabama! Vladdy-Joe Crump says the false allegations have sucked him dry. 🩸 We interviewed his friend who defended him, we think. What did YOU hear him say in defense of Vladdy? Drop it in the comments.
🔥 “Are you ready for the hottest, most electrifying phenomenon in the universe? Watch as these unstable blobs of ionized gas go completely out of control! They split, merge, and EXPLODE—no laws of physics can contain them!” 🔥 📡 Introducing: PLASMOIDS GONE WILD! 📡 🚀 For the first time ever, witness exclusive, uncensored footage of … READ MORE
What in tarnation has happened to America? Back in my day, college sports were about amateur glory, school spirit. And maybe a free education if you didn’t flunk out. Now, thanks to this cockamamie House v. NCAA settlement that’s got schools shelling out billions, these overgrown kids are raking in cash hand over fist! A … READ MORE
Hello, darlings and deadbeats. Keep me posted on your predicaments, and you might just stay out of purgatory, eat a vegetable or two, and clean your filthy house! editor@weeklyworldnews.com ALIEN BODY-SWAP Dear Dotti, I swear this is really happening! My cheeseburger-loving, couch potato husband has been body-swapped by aliens! He came home with grocery bags … READ MORE
High Alert Over the High Seas The British Royal Navy found itself in deep water this week after mistaking a particularly gassy whale for a hostile Russian drone. Reports indicate that a routine patrol in the North Sea turned chaotic when sonar operators detected what they believed to be an “unidentified underwater threat” moving erratically … READ MORE
PACIFIC OCEAN, OREGON – April 10, 2025. Fishermen off the coast of Oregon are reeling in more than they bargained for. They netted a bizarre creature. This catch has got scientists baffled and conspiracy theorists buzzing: a half-sardine, half-human hybrid that’s being dubbed “The Sardine Sapiens”! The shocking discovery happened last Tuesday, A grizzled fisherman … READ MORE
Hey Readers everywhere, Get some self-esteem. Get off the couch. And for Sasquatch’s sake, stop looking for Bigfoot. He’s right here in the pages of Weekly World News! If you have a problem, call someone who cares. Otherwise, plead for my attention at editor@weeklyworldnews.com. DOGGIE DOORS Dear Dotti, Right when I thought life had … READ MORE
…and it’s still boring as hell in 2026 !I’m so damn happy that those overhyped 2026 World Cup soccer matches are finally wrapping up I could kiss a pig on the mouth! The only sport more boring than soccer is still tiddlywinks — and at least in tiddlywinks you’ve got a chance to score, for … READ MORE
To the pinheads everywhere, shut your trap! To the rest of you, write me at editor@weeklyworldnews.com. WARM-UPS! Dear Dotti, My kid is on a travel baseball team and now I spend all my time in parking lots waiting for games to start. Between the uniforms, fees, equipment and hotels, I’m going broke AND driving three … READ MORE