I’M MADDER THAN A HIPPIE IN A SHOWER FACTORY! Now I hear there’s a new breed of swamp-scum slithering through cyberspace: CRYPTO KIDNAPPERS. That’s right, folks—these pixel-pirates are snatching folks right off the digital highway and demanding their ransom in pretend money. Not dollars. Not gold. Not even good ol’ fashioned Chuck E. Cheese tokens. … READ MORE
A Shocking Discovery in an Unlikely Place Archaeologists in Greece were left speechless this week after an ancient woman—estimated to be over 2,000 years old—was discovered inside a discarded garbage bag. The bizarre find has stunned experts and left locals questioning how an artifact of such historical significance ended up treated like an empty yogurt … READ MORE
Folks, I’m madder than a wet hen in a hailstorm, and if you’re not, you ain’t paying attention! This country’s going to hell in a handbasket, and the latest proof is that music mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs is turning Tinsel Town into a one-man crime spree! I’m telling you, this guy’s got Hollywood shaking in … READ MORE
Folks, I’m so steamed I could boil my own head in a pot of clam chowder! Just when you think the world can’t get any dumber, those pointy-headed Eurocrats in Brussels go and prove me wrong. Word on the street—and by street, I mean the patriotic pavement of Main Street, USA—is that the European Union … READ MORE
Folks, I’m so steamed I could fry an egg on my forehead! Airline travel these days is a one-way ticket to Miseryville, and I’m sick and tired of it! Back in the good ol’ days, flying was a treat—stewardesses in sharp uniforms, legroom you could stretch a horse in, and meals that didn’t taste like … READ MORE
ZOMBIE BUNNIES: Authorities Urge Calm and Peeps Sacrifice According to several eyewitness accounts, the bunnies were not only animated but exhibited coordinated pack behavior, strategic hopping, and an apparent thirst for blood—or at least warm bodies. Easter Morning Turns into a Marshmallow Massacre In what experts are calling the “sweetest nightmare imaginable,” Easter festivities took … READ MORE
Well, slap my hide and call me a patriot, folks! The day I’ve been hollerin’ about for years has finally come, and I’m madder than a wet hen that it took this long! President Donald J. Trump—God bless that beautiful head of hair—has signed an executive order that’s gonna make America’s showers great again, and … READ MORE
PACIFIC OCEAN, OREGON – April 10, 2025. Fishermen off the coast of Oregon are reeling in more than they bargained for. They netted a bizarre creature. This catch has got scientists baffled and conspiracy theorists buzzing: a half-sardine, half-human hybrid that’s being dubbed “The Sardine Sapiens”! The shocking discovery happened last Tuesday, A grizzled fisherman … READ MORE
Well, folks, I’m madder than a hornet in a windstorm, and it’s all because of these blasted tariffs that President Trump just slapped on the world like a big ol’ “Made in America” sticker! I’m telling you, I’ve been steaming ever since I heard about this “Liberation Day” nonsense—10% on everything coming into the good … READ MORE
🔥 “Are you ready for the hottest, most electrifying phenomenon in the universe? Watch as these unstable blobs of ionized gas go completely out of control! They split, merge, and EXPLODE—no laws of physics can contain them!” 🔥 📡 Introducing: PLASMOIDS GONE WILD! 📡 🚀 For the first time ever, witness exclusive, uncensored footage of … READ MORE