Get your turkey from the store, not the streets! Believe in yourself, if you’re a psychic. Editor@weeklyworldnews.com for all your questions. Maybe I’ll answer. You can always dream, huh? MARRIAGE BY MANIGATOR Dear Dotti, I’ve HAD it with this marriage! He’s cheating on me next Thursday with a stranger he’s going to meet coming out … READ MORE
A REDNECK VAMPIRE has been found in Alabama! Vladdy-Joe Crump says the false allegations have sucked him dry. 🩸 We interviewed his friend who defended him, we think. What did YOU hear him say in defense of Vladdy? Drop it in the comments.
🔥 “Are you ready for the hottest, most electrifying phenomenon in the universe? Watch as these unstable blobs of ionized gas go completely out of control! They split, merge, and EXPLODE—no laws of physics can contain them!” 🔥 📡 Introducing: PLASMOIDS GONE WILD! 📡 🚀 For the first time ever, witness exclusive, uncensored footage of … READ MORE
Hey! Readers! If you don’t have a face, you better make your passcode 1234. And while I have your attention, don’t put your marriage to the test if you don’t want to know the results. Keep writing me at editor@weeklyworldnews.com HEADLESS! Dear Dotti, I’m headless. I’m a horseman. I can barely type this but thank … READ MORE
What in tarnation has happened to America? Back in my day, college sports were about amateur glory, school spirit. And maybe a free education if you didn’t flunk out. Now, thanks to this cockamamie House v. NCAA settlement that’s got schools shelling out billions, these overgrown kids are raking in cash hand over fist! A … READ MORE
High Alert Over the High Seas The British Royal Navy found itself in deep water this week after mistaking a particularly gassy whale for a hostile Russian drone. Reports indicate that a routine patrol in the North Sea turned chaotic when sonar operators detected what they believed to be an “unidentified underwater threat” moving erratically … READ MORE
Born in Oklahoma City, Bill Hoyland grew up with a transistor radio in one hand and a restless pen in the other. From an early age, he absorbed a kaleidoscope of musical voices—ranging from the twang of Willie Nelson to the soul-deep storytelling of Nelson Williams, from the poetic gravitas of Leonard Cohen to the … READ MORE
PACIFIC OCEAN, OREGON – April 10, 2025. Fishermen off the coast of Oregon are reeling in more than they bargained for. They netted a bizarre creature. This catch has got scientists baffled and conspiracy theorists buzzing: a half-sardine, half-human hybrid that’s being dubbed “The Sardine Sapiens”! The shocking discovery happened last Tuesday, A grizzled fisherman … READ MORE
A kid works the system to get his games, while the Grim Reaper quits? WHAAT? If you’re contributing to the mess that is this crazy world, send me a letter at editor@weeklyworldnews.com If you’re trying to clean it up, good luck. RENT-A-TREATER Dear Dotti, I’m eleven and I have to earn Robux any way I … READ MORE
…and it’s still boring as hell in 2026 !I’m so damn happy that those overhyped 2026 World Cup soccer matches are finally wrapping up I could kiss a pig on the mouth! The only sport more boring than soccer is still tiddlywinks — and at least in tiddlywinks you’ve got a chance to score, for … READ MORE