Let’s find out who’s causing trouble and who’s asking for it. Write me at editor@worldweeklynews.com if you dare. GOOD BIRD BREAKS BAD! Dear Dotti, We make our living taking our performing parrot, McMuffin, to parties and petting zoos. He does tricks and says over a hundred words, that is, until my neighbors rented their ADU … READ MORE
In an unexpected move, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia has reportedly approached late-90s rock legends Smash Mouth to compose a fresh version of the national anthem, hoping to infuse it with what officials are calling “unstoppable stadium energy.” A Bold Move for a Bold Nation Saudi cultural representatives stated that the kingdom is looking to … READ MORE
Born in Oklahoma City, Bill Hoyland grew up with a transistor radio in one hand and a restless pen in the other. From an early age, he absorbed a kaleidoscope of musical voices—ranging from the twang of Willie Nelson to the soul-deep storytelling of Nelson Williams, from the poetic gravitas of Leonard Cohen to the … READ MORE
What in tarnation has happened to America? Back in my day, college sports were about amateur glory, school spirit. And maybe a free education if you didn’t flunk out. Now, thanks to this cockamamie House v. NCAA settlement that’s got schools shelling out billions, these overgrown kids are raking in cash hand over fist! A … READ MORE
Let’s see who’s the reason we can’t have nice things this week… THE 90’s NEVER DIE, WHATEVER Dear Dotti, I’m sure reality split circa 1994 so I refuse to engage post Reality Bites. My friends thought this was fire until I made them stop saying fire and now, they say I’m mid. How do I … READ MORE
🔥 “Are you ready for the hottest, most electrifying phenomenon in the universe? Watch as these unstable blobs of ionized gas go completely out of control! They split, merge, and EXPLODE—no laws of physics can contain them!” 🔥 📡 Introducing: PLASMOIDS GONE WILD! 📡 🚀 For the first time ever, witness exclusive, uncensored footage of … READ MORE
GIMME BACK MY GRUMPY MAILMAN OR HAND ME MY 12-GAUGE! I’m so fired up I just chewed through a tin can and spit out a harmonica solo! The United States Postal Service – you know, the outfit that’s been losing money since the Pony Express filed for bankruptcy. Now they want to deliver your birthday … READ MORE
Folks, I’m madder than a hornet stuffed in Santa’s pants, madder than a vegan at an all-you-can-eat rib joint, madder than Hillary Clinton finding out the election was fair! I’m so dang furious I could chew tinsel and spit out razor wire! Christmas shopping used to be wholesome American fun – like a Norman Rockwell … READ MORE
PACIFIC OCEAN, OREGON – April 10, 2025. Fishermen off the coast of Oregon are reeling in more than they bargained for. They netted a bizarre creature. This catch has got scientists baffled and conspiracy theorists buzzing: a half-sardine, half-human hybrid that’s being dubbed “The Sardine Sapiens”! The shocking discovery happened last Tuesday, A grizzled fisherman … READ MORE
A Shocking Discovery in an Unlikely Place Archaeologists in Greece were left speechless this week after an ancient woman—estimated to be over 2,000 years old—was discovered inside a discarded garbage bag. The bizarre find has stunned experts and left locals questioning how an artifact of such historical significance ended up treated like an empty yogurt … READ MORE