VIRGIN MARY WALKS DOWN MIRACLE MOUNTAIN!
800-LB FIGURE COMES TO LIFE AND DELIVERS MESSAGE FROM GOD TO TRUE BELIEVERS. BALLINSPITTLE, IRELAND — Pilgrims are flocking to the local Grotto of the Virgin Mary. Witnesses say a … READ MORE
‘PERSON OF INTEREST’ IN OVER 100 CRIMES RELEASED BECAUSE HE’S SO UNINTERESTING
Dwayne Stafford has an incredible story. Just don’t ask him to tell it. That’s because Stafford may be the most boring person in the world. Fortunately for Stafford, that’s been … READ MORE
BETTY WHITE’S COMING BACK!
Will Join Forces with Teddy Roosevelt and Run For President! Scores of Americans assembled in Chicago on Friday night to express their support for the theory that Betty White, the … READ MORE
FEMALE SPACE ALIEN ACCUSES EX-GOVERNOR OF SEXUAL MISCONDUCT
ALBANY, NY — A shapely female alien accused former NY Governor, Andrew Cuomo, of groping her breasts. And the bizarre incident nearly sparked an interstellar war! That is the mind-boggling … READ MORE
DEAD STRIPPER FOUND IN CAKE!
STRIPPER BAKED IN CAKE CAUSES HAVOC AT BACHELOR’S PARTY AND BAR MITZVAH “It just wasn’t Kosher!’ declares Bar Mitzvah boy’s Mom. Police descended upon Cross-Eyed Betty’s Bakery in Brooklyn today … READ MORE
TEENAGE SPACE ALIENS ARE STEALING OUR GLACIERS FOR PARTY ICE!
THE REAL REASON FOR GLOBAL WARMING The cause of global warming – otherwise known as “climate change” – has been a source of great contention for years. Scientists attribute it … READ MORE
CHRISTMAS TREE FOUND ON MARS!
NASA has released a photo taken by its Curiosity rover that shows a mysterious unexplained Christmas Tree on Mars. The rover’s “navcam” (which acts as an eye) transmitted the raw black-and-white … READ MORE
VOTERS VOTE TO SUPPRESS THEIR RIGHT TO VOTE
NO VOTE FOR ME?! The right to vote is widely considered the most essential for a democracy to survive. Tens of thousandsof people in the past have risked their lives … READ MORE
SANTA GOT JACKED?!
He looks 500 years younger! Old Saint Nick was working out all summer long! Now he looks like a fitness model. It turns out he had an extra Peloton bike … READ MORE
DEATH ROW INMATE SPARED – BECAUSE OF HIS LAST NAME!
A death row inmate scheduled for execution in Tumbleweed, Wyoming had his sentence commuted to life imprisonment. All because of his last name! Judge Horace Parks spared the inmate, Ed … READ MORE