HOUSTON – NASA predicts that the satellite falling to earth will hit Washington DC – and probably the Capitol building!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN 2013
WASHINGTON, DC – Shutdown crisis causes U.S. to turn to the alien, P’Lod, for guidance and financial aid.
FOURTH OF JULY ALIEN INVASION
WASHINGTON, DC – Alien warriors for Planet Gootan planned to attack Earth today, but the invasion has been averted – thanks to President Obama’s secret negotiations!
WHITE HOUSE BANS REPORTERS
The White House announced today that due to the increasing number of scandals – reporters will not be allowed at The White House until further notice.
OBAMA INAUGURATION TO COST $300 MILLION
The US. Government will reportedly spend over $300 million on the second inauguration of Barack Obama.
BIDEN PUTS WHITE HOUSE ON LOCKDOWN TO FIND CAR KEYS
Vice-president says he “knows they’re around here somewhere.
BILL CLINTON IN NORTH KOREA
LOS ANGELES – Bill Clinton returns to the US with freed North Korean prisoners. Weekly World News has acquired a transcript of his exchange with Kim Jong Il.
UPDATE: MCCAIN ACCEPTS ENDORSEMENT!
BREAKING NEWS: McCain has proudly accepted the Alien’s endorsement!
ICE QUEEN CINDY MCCAIN
SVALBARD, NORWAY – Cindy McCain will return to her ice kingdom following the November elections should her husband not be victorious.