In an unprecedented move, the Lone Star State has taken a quantum leap in the battle against blistering summers by announcing its conversion to the Celsius temperature scale. The decision, met with a mix of bewilderment and amusement, has left Texans both scratching their heads and grabbing for their winter coats. Governor Maverick hailed the … READ MORE
Finding Samuel The dry heat of southern Texas was an appreciated change from the Louisiana swamp. Glen and I arrived in Texas in search of the chupacabra, a reptilian beast known for its appetite for farm animals. Apparently, chupacabras don’t discriminate; they’re known to eat anything from chickens to cows. However, goats are their favorite. … READ MORE
Terrifying effigy keeps the crops safe Philip Olsen, a farmer near Galveston, Texas, saw a news report about the record-cold weather that was about to hit the Lone Star state. He wasn’t worried. More than a decade ago, when he lived and farmed in Kansas, Olsen invented what he called a “Scaresnow,” a variation on … READ MORE
Donald Trump, Jr. upset! “Little Bitey Things Were Everywhere!” The much-heralded “Africa In Texas” private hunt has been called off. The Moreau Ranch, a 30,000-acre spread near Houston, cited “an infestation of a foreign species” as the reason. The “safari” leaders, brothers Don and Ron Bratz, the twin sons of American slumlord king Ichabod (“Icky”) … READ MORE
NEW YORK – Tapes released by Caroline Kennedy reveal that Jackie Kennedy believed Lyndon B Johnson was the mastermind behind JFK’s assassination.
ELFORD, Texas – For eons, scientists and philosophers have tried to uncover the secret of the universe. Last week, Jimmy Gallagher, 7, learned what it was.
