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Carl Woodward

PH.D. APE’S New Economic Theory of Success

March 16, 2022 by Carl Woodward

SENDS SHOCKWAVES THROUGH WALL STREET! Weekly World News reports shocking findings from Ph.D. Ape. Among his many talents, he is also a noted economic theorist and has been studying the … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Science Tags business, economic theory, ego, entrepreneurs

GEORGIA HIRED THE WRONG POLL WORKERS!

November 13, 2020 by Carl Woodward

Lead to to major vote count delays Weekly World News confirmed that vote-counting delays in several Georgia election districts were the result of a hiring snafu.    In the months … READ MORE

Categories Headlines

IDAHO MAN STRICKEN WITH POTATO FEET!

June 15, 2020June 15, 2020 by Carl Woodward

On Monday June 8th an Idaho man awoke to a shocking transformation – his feet had turned into potatoes!   For years friends had joked that Bill Ringwald’s acute love of all things … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags potatoes

BLOOMBERG VICTORY REWARD?!

March 4, 2020March 4, 2020 by Carl Woodward

HIS LAST PITCH? PLANS TO GIVE EVERY CITIZEN $5,000 IF ELECTED Channeling Herbert Hoover’s election playbook, Mayor Michael Bloomberg pledged today to pay $5,000 in cash to “each and every … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags bloomberg, Democratic Primary, super tuesday

JUUL SCRAPS PLAN FOR INFANT VAPE LINE

October 6, 2019September 26, 2019 by Carl Woodward

Buckling to growing consumer anger, Juul Labs has ceased production of its “Mother’s Bounty” line of flavored Vape products targeted to infants and toddlers in developed nations.   The line … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags ban, smoke, smoking, toddlers, topstories

ALIENS FOUND IN HEDGE FUND LEADER'S BRAIN

February 26, 2020June 15, 2014 by Carl Woodward

Hedge fund manager’s brain infested with aliens.

Categories Aliens Tags alien, Aliens, Comic, ETS, extraterrestrials, hedge fund

HACKERS FOILED BY KNICKS YOUTUBE VIDEO

March 21, 2013 by Carl Woodward

Yonkers, NY police and FBI agents are crediting a YouTube music video in their apprehension of a hacker cell.

Categories Headlines, TopStory Tags new york city, youtube

APPLE RELEASES NEW PRODUCT – iCLIMAX

February 6, 2013 by Carl Woodward

Apple makes a bold penetration into the sex market.

Categories Headlines, TopStory Tags apple, iphone, iTunes

SOUTH PARK CREATORS PLAN ISLAM MUSICAL

October 4, 2012 by Carl Woodward

The creators of The Book of Mormon have teamed with Salman Rushie for a new broadway musical.

Categories Headlines, TopStory Tags Broadway musical, Islam, Libya, Osama, pakistan, satan

AHMADINEJAD IS AN IMPOSTER!

September 26, 2012 by Carl Woodward

An Iranian spokeswoman confirmed last night Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is an imposter.

Categories Headlines, TopStory Tags iran, Libya, mahmoud ahmadinejad, president obama, supreme leader, the view, united nations
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