ARLEN SPECTER WILL NOT BE LOYAL DEMOCRAT

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WASHINGTON, DC – Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter was thrust into the national stage last week when he switched from the Republican Party to the Democrats.

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GOP LEADERS PROTEST STIMULUS PACKAGE

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WASHINGTON, DC – After criticizing the economic stimulus plan, Republicans have chained themselves to doors of the Capitol Building to block its passing.

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GOP GATHERS TO SUMMON NEXT LEADER

SMITHDALE, VA – Since their defeat on Election Day, Republicans have questioned what will be the new direction of their party.

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PhD APE FLIES TO LIEBERMAN'S SIDE

STAMFORD, CT – In the midst of helping John McCain grieve, PhD Ape took a red-eye flight Monday night to be with Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman.

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PhD APE TO COUNSEL MCCAIN FOLLOWING HISTORIC LOSS

PHOENIX, AZ – After losing the 2008 presidential election by nearly 200 electoral votes and nearly six percent of the popular vote, Senator John McCain is understandably in very low spirits.

STRAIGHT TALK EXPRESS TO TIME TRAVEL

PHOENIX, AZ – With his presidential bid seen as lost, John McCain is putting a Flux Capacitor on the Straight Talk Express.

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