Vials of Ronald Reagan’s blood are being auctioned off – and Republicans are buying them up and injecting the blood into their bodies!
sean hannity
GLENN BECK MOVING TO CHINA!
NEW CANAAN, CT – Glenn Beck announced yesterday that he will be taking his controversial talk-show to China – permanently!
FOX & FRIENDS FIRES HOSTS, HIRES CHIMPS
NEW YORK – Fox News today fired the hosts of Fox & Friends and replaced them with chimps.
BED BUG MILITIA TARGETS CNN
NEW YORK – Bedbugs in New York have formed a militia and are targeting CNN.
HATE CRIMES AMENDMENT
WASHINGTON, DC – 35 Republican senators voted against a defense bill that included hate crime legislation. They claim it was based on cuts in anti-zombie spending.
SCHWARZENEGGER BACKS HEALTH CARE REFORM
SACRAMENTO, CA – Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has come forward saying he backs health care reform.
EMMY WINNERS 2009
LOS ANGELES – Last night the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences held the 2009 Emmy Awards. Weekly World News was on hand at the illustrious event.
OBAMA PROMISES 600,000 JOBS
WASHINGTON, DC – In an interview Monday, President Barack Obama restated his promise to create 600,000 new jobs by the end of summer.
CHENEY ADMITS NO LINK BETWEEN 9/11 AND IRAQ
NEW YORK, NY – In an interview on Fox News, former Vice President Dick Cheney admitted that “there was never any evidence Iraq was involved in 9-11.”
LAST MINUTE MOTHERS DAY GIFT IDEAS
Mother’s Day is upon us and, like every year, it has snuck up without warning.