WASHINGTON, DC – After the stress of finalizing the bailout plan for the nation’s distressed financial institutions, the U.S. Senate took a break and awarded John McCain an honorary Miss Congeniality Award.
WASHINGTON, D.C. – John McCain received support from a most unlikely source today.
WIth his popularity slipping in the polls. his running mate pounded by Katie Couric, and internet rumors that a stroke has caused laziness in his left eye, McCain was visited by the apparition of former TLC singer Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes.
“It’s so far away, that it doesn’t even seem like part of America anyway”
“I won’t be dwarfed by a Democrat!”, candidate declares
Dr. Lawler discovered thumbnail sized microchips throughout McCain’s digestive and nervous system
Presidential nominee John McCain wants fellow nominee Barack Obama to put his campaign ads away and instead settle the election like gentlemen—by having a duel!
The bold challenge, publicly issued by McCain’s feisty Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin, would spare the American people from the typical smear campaigns and save millions of dollars in citizens’ donations, according to McCain.
The Alien’s rebuttal of McCain’s lobbying has left the Republican Party fuming.
I’m madder than A-Rod’s wife at a day-long Madonna concert. Can someone please explain to me why a Barack Obama presidency would be good for you and me? Me? I don’t get it.