NEW YORK, NY – The country is abuzz over a questionable photo of President Obama checking out a young lady!
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OBAMA PICKS SOTOMAYOR
WASHINGTON, DC – It has been leaked that President Obama selected his next Supreme Court appointee.
ED ANGER SAYS: STOP SAYING SORRY, OBAMA!
I’m madder than a snake at a mongoose convention! The Teleprompter Kid just can’t stop saying sorry!
FIDEL CASTRO MEETS THE ALIEN
HAVANA, CUBA – Fidel Castro met with US lawmakers for the first time in years this Tuesday. Political expert the Alien was on hand to assist with the talks.
GATES PULLS PLUG ON DEFENSE SPENDING
WASHINGTON, DC – The government has been forced to pull back on defense spending. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates is pulling funding on F22 and Area 51, which is expected to close within the month.
POSEIDON: MY FAME IS NOT NEGOTIABLE
The thunder of Zeus be upon you, O mortals! The President has declared energy reform to be nonnegotiable. And yet I, the great god of the sea, wait for the prayer phone to ring.
ED ANGER SAYS: TELEPROMPTER KID SHOULD STAY OFF TV
My rabbit ears are bent outta shape! Is Obama the President of the United States or the new American Idol? Cuz he spends more time going on television that he does running the country!