MONTECITO, CA – Greek scientists doing research at the University of California at Santa Barbara have announced a major discovery. They’ve found Pandora’s Box in the attic of Oprah Winfrey!
CHAPEL HILL, NC – Nutrition expert, Dr. Nicholas Perricone, has added Twinkies to his list of superfoods.
Oprah reportedly announced on her network that she has adopted Lindsay Lohan!
LOS ANGELES – Tyler Perry reportedly made an offer to buy bankrupt American Airlines. They accepted. The new airline: African-American Airlines.
Lance Armstrong shocked Oprah by telling her that it was his twin brother, Larry, who rode the bike and took drugs.
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SAN FRANCISCO — In a shocking new poll… Mitt Romney now has a commanding lead in California.
A Colgate College historian has identified a faded, fourth-century scrap of papyrus he calls “Jesus’s Wife’s Diary.” One line of the torn fragment of text purportedly reads: “Jesus said to them, ‘My wife is beautiful.'”
LOS ANGELES – Octomom is launching a show on parenting. It will launch online first, but NBC is reportedly picking it up for the Spring.
WASHINGTON – The Obama Administration has formed the world’s first Fat Police unit. They’re mission: arrest the obese.
LOS ANGELES – Dr. Phil announced on his show that there is an alien invasion under way and we must all prepare!