PANDORA’S BOX FOUND IN OPRAH’S ATTIC!

MONTECITO, CA – Greek scientists doing research at the University of California at Santa Barbara have announced a major discovery. They’ve found Pandora’s Box in the attic of Oprah Winfrey!

JESUS HAD A WIFE: SHE LOOKED LIKE OPRAH

A Colgate College historian has identified a faded, fourth-century scrap of papyrus he calls “Jesus’s Wife’s Diary.” One line of the torn fragment of text purportedly reads: “Jesus said to them, ‘My wife is beautiful.'”

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