NEW YORK, NY – Following three years of repair, the USS Intrepid’s return to Manhattan was greeted by the Tri-State Area’s only known Kraken.
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MOLE PEOPLE BEING EXPLOITED
WASHINGTON, D.C. -The U.S. military has found a race of Mole People, and may be planning to exploit them!
MCCAIN-BORG UPGRADES FOR DEBATE
DALLAS, TX – Republican presidential nominee John McCain announced Monday he will suspend his campaign yet again in order to upgrade his cybernetic systems.
FIRST EVER INTERSTELLAR EXTRADITION
SAFFORD, AZ. – A fugitive’s abduction by aliens has prompted a hasty interstellar extradition treaty, now under review by the U.S. Senate.
JAPANESE RESTAURANT HIRES TINY BIGFOOT BUSBOY
TOKYO, JAPAN – Following reports this week of a Japanese restaurant employing monkey waiters, Shibuya hideaway, DaiDai, has hired the world’s tiniest Bigfoot!
OBAMA SHARES CIGARETTE WITH MYSTERIOUS MAN-CHILD
HURUMA, KENYA – Evidence has now surfaced that while on his summer international tour, Barack Obama disappeared from Israel to attend a secret meeting in Huruma
MCCAIN USES ALIENS TO GET TOWN HALL QUESTIONS
NASHVILLE, TN – Obama for America campaign manager, David Plouffe, has accused Republican Presidential candidate Senator John McCain of using alien technology
SUPER-SARAH PALIN KNOCKS OUT JOE-TOX
I was as happy as Joe Biden at a Hair Club for Men conference to see Sarah Palin crush Joe Biden in the VP debate last week. Sarah had me at “Hey, can I call you Joe?”