ALTURAS, CA – A frazzled, young government researcher says she’s sick and tired of caring for the baby Bigfoot who was captured by scientists – because the squalling, rambunctious furball is a brat!
TopStory
OBAMA NUDE
CAMBRIDGE, MA – The shocking photo obtained by Weekly World News reporter Hideaki Tailor reveals that Obama revealed himself during his time at Harvard Law School.
EMPEROR BLOOMBERG
NEW YORK, NY – Mayor Mike Bloomberg has crowned himself Emperor of New York. The two term mayor has decided to sidestep legal term limits requiring him to step down next year by crowning himself sovereign ruler.
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UPDATE: PALINTOLOGY REVEALED!
BREAKING NEWS!
These drawings were found left behind on Palin’s debate notes last night showing both her belief in what should be taught in schools but also her view on the natural evolution of woman.
CONGRESS NAMES MCCAIN "MISS CONGENIALITY"
WASHINGTON, DC – After the stress of finalizing the bailout plan for the nation’s distressed financial institutions, the U.S. Senate took a break and awarded John McCain an honorary Miss Congeniality Award.
EU Urges Integration of Vampires
BRUSSELS, BELGIUM – The European Union has taken action to integrate one of its least recognized minorities: vampires.
The move was a reaction to an Italian ruling to put crosses on top of every street sign and lamp-post in the country, a move many feel was aimed directly at the vampire community.
NBC's "The Office" Busted For Subliminal Messages
BURBANK, CA – The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) issued fines to NBC and producers of “The Office” for injecting subliminal messages into the show. The screen shot from an episode last Spring above shows a monitor promoting Zorock, an alien candidate for this year’s election of a new Galactic Overlord.
Bloomberg Changes Wall St. to Main St.
NEW YORK, NY – New York City’s Mayor Michael Bloomberg is gearing up for a run at a third term in office. He’s making the usual rounds of fundraisers and kissing babies to drum up support. But in the wake of the failing financial institutions, Bloomberg needed a big hook to get New Yorkers on his side.
Undead Demand Health Insurance
Washington, DC – The nation’s undead community is demanding the right to health insurance—and it is a battle it can win, say experts.