PBS reported that the rapper Tupac Shakur was sighted in Tasmania this weekend.
Punxsutawney Phil’s forecast for an early spring was as an epic failure. So, he was executed this morning.
PATERNO TO COACH BALL STATE
MUNCIE, IN – Sources say that Joe Paterno has accepted the head coaching job at Ball State.
PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL ROBOT
PUNXSUTAWNEY, PA – PETA’s solution to the use of a live groundhog for predicting the coming of spring? Build a robotic one!
DUCT TAPE CAT
PHILADELPHIA, PA – Police are attempting to uncover who wrapped a cat in duct tape and abandoned it!
HERMINIIMONAS GLACIEI REVIVED
PITTSBURGH, PA – A tiny bacterium taken from a Greenland ice sheet has been revived and studied, further fueling theories of potential alien life.
JON AND KATE PLUS APE
WERNERSVILLE, PA – As the media attention grows surrounding allegations of infidelity, Jon and Kate Gosselin have asked for professional help from PhD Ape!
JON & KATE PLUS 8 AFFAIR
PHILADELPHIA, PA – Jon Gosselin has spent weeks battling allegations that he cheated on his wife Kate. But Weekly World News has finally uncovered his strange affair – with 8 clowns!
PhD APE AND MADAM KRISTIN DAVIS
PHILADELPHIA, PA – As Madam Kristen Davis debates whether to publish her tell-all biography, she has turned to a longtime friend and alleged client for counsel: PhD Ape!
WORLD'S FATTEST CAT ADOPTED
PHILADELPHIA, PA – Jon and Kate Gosselin, stars of the hit reality show, Jon and Kate Plus 8, have added one supersized mouth to their family this holiday season: Tonya!