BREAKING – Washington, D.C. The White House announced this morning that they will be putting Bat Boy in charge of the newly created “Perfect Citizen” cyber program.
LOS ANGELES – Judge Marsha Revel threw tarballs at Lindsay Lohan’s while sentencing her to jail.
PHILADELPHIA, PA – As temperatures neared 100 Monday, after hovering in the high 90s during the week, a Southside alien was taken to Mercy Hospital suffering from heatstroke.
BREAKING – On the advice of an alien, CNN host Larry King announced that he will be leaving his nightly talk show this Fall.
EAST HAMPTON, NY – Lady Gaga was thrown out Santos Party House in New York City last night and this morning was found in Jerry Seinfeld’s house in East Hampton.
ABERDEEN, UK – Mr. Russell Moffatt in Hardgate was on his way to an appointment with his ophthalmologist when he spotted a five-foot tall boy with a horse’s head.
NEW YORK – Mayor Bloomberg announced that all New York cab drivers will be issued bullet proof vests.