PORTLAND, OR – Justin Beaver, the beaver born with the face of Justin Beiber, was found today in a stream bed outside Portland.
Frank Lake
RUSSIA SWAPS PUTIN FOR PALIN
AUSTRIA – In a secret swap on the tarmac of the Vienna airport, Russia and the United States returned their respective spies: Vladmir Putin and Sarah Palin.
HAPPY TRAILS! TRIGGER FOR SALE!
New York, NY – Christie’s is auctioning off the belongings of movie cowboy Roy Rogers – including the preserved remains of his famous horse, Trigger.
MEL CALLED BACK TO ALIEN MOTHERSHIP
LOS ANGELES – The Alien Mothership hovering above Los Angeles finally had enough of Mel Gibson’s racist tirades and has called him back home.
KRISTEN STEWART IS TOTALLY TEAM ALIEN
Bella may prefer Edward to Jacob, but when it comes to Kristen Stewart, she’s Team Alien all the way.
BAT BOY PUT IN CHARGE OF U.S. CYBER COMMAND
BREAKING – Washington, D.C. The White House announced this morning that they will be putting Bat Boy in charge of the newly created “Perfect Citizen” cyber program.
JUDGE THROWS TARBALLS AT LOHAN
LOS ANGELES – Judge Marsha Revel threw tarballs at Lindsay Lohan’s while sentencing her to jail.
GORE STRONG ENOUGH TO BE CROW'S MAN
ALIEN IN PHILLY SUFFERS HEATSTROKE
PHILADELPHIA, PA – As temperatures neared 100 Monday, after hovering in the high 90s during the week, a Southside alien was taken to Mercy Hospital suffering from heatstroke.
ALIEN TELLS LARRY KING TO LEAVE CNN
BREAKING – On the advice of an alien, CNN host Larry King announced that he will be leaving his nightly talk show this Fall.