DALLAS, TX – Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, announced the White House’s plan to deport 15 million Republicans to Mexico.
TONOPAH, NEVADA — Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has decided to work for a male brothel in Nevada, part of a new campaign strategy “to serve all Nevada voters.”
BREAKING – The U.S. Department of Interior Obama released a second Chupacabra today, this time into Texas.
WWN EXCLUSIVE – Bat Boy, Bigfoot, and Bush are all on the guest list for Chelsea Clinton’s wedding in Rhinebeck, New York on July 31.
LOS ANGELES – Producers of the hit Sandra Bullock drama, The Blind Side, announced today that Jesse James has agreed to co-star in the sequel.
George Steinbrenner, a towering figure in the sports world, died Tuesday morning in Tampa. George Costanza was arrested soon after in a nearby coffee shop.
LOS ANGELES – Marisa Miller is giving up her career as a supermodel so she can become a Catholic nun.
PORTLAND, OR – Justin Beaver, the beaver born with the face of Justin Beiber, was found today in a stream bed outside Portland.
AUSTRIA – In a secret swap on the tarmac of the Vienna airport, Russia and the United States returned their respective spies: Vladmir Putin and Sarah Palin.
New York, NY – Christie’s is auctioning off the belongings of movie cowboy Roy Rogers – including the preserved remains of his famous horse, Trigger.