LOS ANGELES – Pitcher Pope Benedict XVI has signed with the Los Angeles Angels for the remainder of the 2010 Major League Baseball season.
Frank Lake
TONY ROBBINS: THE MONSTER IS BACK!
NEW YORK, NY – Americans haven’t been able to give their money to Tony Robbins since his last book/CD in 2006, but the giant is awakened. He’s back for more!
LARISSA RIQUELME IS DATING BAT BOY
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL – Larissa Riquelme, who has been told for years that she looks like Bat Boy, is now dating the love of her life.
BIGFOOT SNAGS A BRIDESMAID
GAULEY, WV – At a wedding reception near the Cranberry River, Bigfoot busted in and grabbed one of the bridesmaids.
SEATTLE COPS USE NEW "DAZER-LASER"
SEATTLE – Police are using a new tool for law enforcement that neutralizes suspects by temporarily blinding them with a green laser.
NANCY PELOSI JOINS TEA PARTY CAUCUS
WASHINGTON – Several days after Michele Bachmann won approval for The Tea Party Caucus in the House, Nancy Pelosi has announced she will join.
BP DISCOVERS OIL AT STONEHENGE
COUNTY WILTSHIRE – Archaeologists working for BP have made a startling new find at Stonehenge – oil.
GIDEONS PLACE STRIPPERS IN HOTEL ROOMS
LINCOLN, NE – The Gideons have expanded their hotel distribution system. In addition to bibles, they will now be placing a stripper in every hotel room.
FARTING MAKES BOYS SMARTER
WASHINGTON – The Center for Education Policy has released the results of a study that proves conclusively that farting raises IQ levels in boys.
PETE BEST SHOOTS RINGO
CANANDAIGUA, NY – Ringo Starr was leaving the stage after his concert last night, when Pete Best, the first drummer of The Beatles shot him with a handgun.