I’m madder than a gay rooster stuck in a hen-house about this Chick-fil-A thing.
rahm emanuel
U.S. INVADES CHICAGO!
CHICAGO – The U.S. launched an invasion last night as special forces units and Blackhawk helicopters attacked the city.
OBAMA CANCELS 2012 ELECTIONS
WASHINGTON – President Obama announced yesterday that he is canceling the 2012 elections, due to the jobs crisis. 
WEREWOLVES HEADED FOR CHICAGO!
CHICAGO – Federal authorities have alerted residents that a large contingent of werewolves is headed for the Windy City.
OBAMA RELEASES CHUPACABRA INTO ARIZONA
PIMA COUNTY, AZ – The U.S. Department of Interior has released a Chupacabra into Arizona in an attempt to get the State to repeal their new immigration law.
BLAGO TRIES TO BRIBE JUDGE
CHICAGO – After Rod Blagojevich was found guilty on 17 counts today, he tried to bribe the judge in court.
WHITE HOUSE FORMS DANCE TROUPE
WASHINGTON – On the first night of the White House Dance Series, the White House introduced its own dance troupe, Hip-Potus.
FEDS DEPORT SHERIFF JOE
MARICOPA COUNTY – The Department of Justice had Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio arrested and deported yesterday.