WASHINGTON – Due to the poor economy, Congress voted today to rename Labor Day. This year it will be called “Sex Day.”
U.S. NEWS and WORLD REPORT COLLEGE RANKINGS: UNJ #1
US News and World Report released its 2011 Best Colleges list and the University of New Jersey is #1 in the country.
OBAMA TO DEPORT 15 MILLION REPUBLICANS
DALLAS, TX – Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, announced the White House’s plan to deport 15 million Republicans to Mexico.
EVAN BAYH RETIREMENT
WASHINGTON D.C. – Senator Evan Bayh will not seek re-election this year. Citing an overly partisan climate in Washington he has decided to return to his home planet!
ED ANGER SAYS, "SO LONG, KENNEDYS!"
I’m madder than Jackie-O in a thrift shop!
SCOTT BROWN INAUGURATION
WASHINGTON, DC – Scott Brown will be sworn in today, ahead of schedule. CSPAN is expecting the sexiest Senate inauguration ever!
ED ANGER SAYS: "GAS UP THE TRUCK!"
Right about now, Ted Kennedy’s in hell, and he’s madder than Michael J. Fox playing freeze tag!
ED ANGER: "WIN ONE FOR MARY JO!"
I’m madder than Ted Kennedy in an XS coffin!