presidential election Archives

TRUMP ANNOUNCES CANDIDACY FOR 2024 INSURRECTION

February 3, 2022January 28, 2022 by Bernie Pyle

Former President Donald Trump surprised insiders today by announcing that he will not run for president in 2024. Instead, he declared that he’s entering the ring to lead the 2024 insurrection. At one of his patented rallies in Podunk, South Dakota, in front of a worshipful audience, Trump stunned the crowd when he said, “I … READ MORE

OBAMA: COLLEGE WILL BE FREE FOR EVERYONE

October 28, 2012 by Frank Lake

In a speech, President Obama promised that at some point in his second term the government begin paying for college – for everyone.

REPUBLICANS CONCEDE 2012 ELECTION!

May 2, 2011 by Frank Lake

WASHINGTON – The Republican National Committee and GOP leaders have conceded the 2012 election to President Barack Obama!

PhD APE TO COUNSEL MCCAIN FOLLOWING HISTORIC LOSS

November 5, 2008 by Carl Woodward

PHOENIX, AZ – After losing the 2008 presidential election by nearly 200 electoral votes and nearly six percent of the popular vote, Senator John McCain is understandably in very low spirits.

UPDATE: MCCAIN ACCEPTS ENDORSEMENT!

November 4, 2008 by Reginald Cunningham III

BREAKING NEWS: McCain has proudly accepted the Alien’s endorsement!

CHAOS CLOUD APPEARS IN WASHINGTON D.C.

November 4, 2008 by Carl Woodward

WASHINGTON, DC – On the eve of the most important presidential election in years, the Chaos Cloud has descended upon the nation’s capitol.

MCCAIN EBAYS GOVERNMENT SECRETS

October 29, 2008 by Reginald Cunningham III

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an attempt to boost his chances, McCain offered to fix the economy by selling secret government artifacts on Ebay.

CHAOS CLOUD HOVERS OVER INDIANA

October 28, 2008 by Hideaki Tailor

INDIANAPOLIS, IN – The Chaos Cloud has made another appearance in a U.S. state, this time descending upon Indiana.

ICE QUEEN CINDY MCCAIN

October 27, 2008 by Carl Woodward

SVALBARD, NORWAY – Cindy McCain will return to her ice kingdom following the November elections should her husband not be victorious.

BAT BOY REGISTERS TO VOTE IN 48 STATES

October 9, 2008 by WWN Staff

AUSTIN, TX – On the campus of The University of Texas yesterday afternoon, Bat Boy registered to vote in the Lone Star State.
This marked the forty-eighth state in which the half-bat, half-boy national icon successfully registered to help the nation decide the next US President.