LONDON – Jonnie Marbles, the man who attacked Rupert Murdoch, revealed he is an American spy.
DRONES TARGET RAND PAUL
Soon after Rand Paul ended his filibuster on drones, the White House ordered drones to follow the Kentucky Senator.
Eric Holder
CLARENCE THOMAS TO RESIGN FROM SUPREME COURT
Sources inside the U.S. Supreme Court are saying that Clarence Thomas plans to retire in June of this year.
RONALD MCDONALD SENTENCED TO DEATH!
WASHINGTON – The U.S. Justice Department has ordered Ronald McDonald put to death.
EXECUTION DRUG DEPLETED: U.S. TURNS TO STONING
WASHINGTON – With supplies of execution drugs disappearing, the U.S. has turned to more primitive methods of execution.
KICK A MORON DAY
GAINESVILLE, FL – Preacher Terry Jones changes his mind and announces “Kick A Moron Day.”
FEDS DEPORT SHERIFF JOE
MARICOPA COUNTY – The Department of Justice had Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio arrested and deported yesterday.