PHOENIX, AZ – After losing the 2008 presidential election by nearly 200 electoral votes and nearly six percent of the popular vote, Senator John McCain is understandably in very low spirits.
WASHINGTON, DC – On the eve of the most important presidential election in years, the Chaos Cloud has descended upon the nation’s capitol.
NEW DELHI, INDIA – India recently announced that it would launch its first manned mission to the moon in the coming months.
TACONY, PA – At a recent campaign stop in northeast Philadelphia, Governor Sarah Palin used her spiritual powers to heal a young child.
SVALBARD, NORWAY – Cindy McCain will return to her ice kingdom following the November elections should her husband not be victorious.
LOS ANGELES, CA –Guy Ritchie has accepted PhD Ape’s council after the announcement of his divorce from Madonna.
LOS ANGELES, CA – Tonya, the World’s Fattest Cat, just barely lost enough weight this week to remain in competition on NBC’s hit reality series, Biggest Loser.
LOS LUNAS, NM – Federal Agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives raided an underground warehouse used to stage alien cock fighting.
NEW YORK, NY – Following three years of repair, the USS Intrepid’s return to Manhattan was greeted by the Tri-State Area’s only known Kraken.
