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Carl Woodward

PALIN SPENDS COLUMBUS DAY ON WITCH HUNT

June 22, 2021October 13, 2008 by Carl Woodward

WASILLA, AK – Representatives from the McCain Campaign have confirmed that Vice Presidential candidate, Governor Sarah Palin, will spend the Columbus Day holiday on a witch hunt.

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Categories Headlines Tags alaska, charlie, columbus day, independence day, kenya, mccain, palin, patriotism, sarah palin, sarahpalin, satan, todd palin, wasilla, witches

JAPANESE RESTAURANT HIRES TINY BIGFOOT BUSBOY

October 10, 2008 by Carl Woodward

TOKYO, JAPAN – Following reports this week of a Japanese restaurant employing monkey waiters, Shibuya hideaway, DaiDai, has hired the world’s tiniest Bigfoot!

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Categories Mutants, TopStory Tags Bigfoot, economy, japan, restaurant, tiny bigfoot, tokyo, world economy

MCCAIN USES ALIENS TO GET TOWN HALL QUESTIONS

October 8, 2008 by Carl Woodward

NASHVILLE, TN – Obama for America campaign manager, David Plouffe, has accused Republican Presidential candidate Senator John McCain of using alien technology

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Categories TopStory Tags alien, Aliens, barack obama, barackobama, debate, howard dean, john mccain, johnmccain, mccain, mitt romney, nashville, obama, obama campaign, presidential debate, psychic, qwoak, spells, supernatural, tennessee, town hall

Bridge to Nowhere Leads to Alien Quizno's

September 29, 2008 by Carl Woodward

JUNEAU, AK – Sources inside the Alaska State Legislature confirm today that Governor Sarah Palin’s earmark pet project, the “Bridge to Nowhere” was partially funded by Alien Investors.

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Categories Aliens, Celebs, Headlines, Mutants, Opinion, Uncategorized, WWN Store Tags alaska, congress, juneau, martian, palin, Russia, sarah palin, sarahpalin

GM Hybrid Powered by Fairy Dust and Unicorn Tears

September 26, 2008 by Carl Woodward

The yet to be named automobile is known internally as “Codename Twinkle”

Categories Headlines Tags china, detroit, general motors, gm, hybrid, renewable resources, rick wagoner, unicorn, unicorns

McCain is a Cyborg?

September 22, 2008 by Carl Woodward

Dr. Lawler discovered thumbnail sized microchips throughout McCain’s digestive and nervous system

Categories Mutants Tags conspiracy, cyborg, john mccain, johnmccain, mccain

Rove's Brain Goes on Attack, Literally!

September 18, 2008 by Carl Woodward

Viewers of Fox News report seeing political pundit Karl Rove’s brain escaping his head mid-sentence

Categories Headlines, Mutants Tags biden, fox news, joe biden, joebiden, karl rove, karlrove, keith olbermann, morning joe, msnbc, new york, new york city, obama, Politics
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