WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama issued an Executive Order banning the production and/or consumption of French Fries!
SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE: ADELE
NEW YORK – New polls by Esquire, FHM and People reveal that men consider Adele the sexiest woman alive.
DONUT MUGGERS PREY ON THE OBESE
Bad guys have a new weapon: Donut Trail Mugging (DTM). Obese people nationwide are falling for the con.
TURKISH AIRLINES BANS FLIGHT ATTENDANTS
TURKEY – According to one airline, some flight attendants were carrying too much baggage!
FATFOOT ON THE VIEW
NEW YORK, NY – Fatfoot, the overweight Sasquatch, was recently discovered to be suffering from bulimia. Yesterday he appeared on daytime television show The View to discuss his struggle.
WORLD'S FATTEST CAT ON 'BIGGEST LOSER'
LOS ANGELES, CA – Tonya, the World’s Fattest Cat, just barely lost enough weight this week to remain in competition on NBC’s hit reality series, Biggest Loser.
The elusive backwoods creatures are hooked on junk food and have become dangerously overweight!
Aliens Fattening Up Americans
And they’re finally ripe for slaughter!