DALLAS, TX – Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, announced the White House’s plan to deport 15 million Republicans to Mexico.
democrats
HARRY REID JOINS MALE BROTHEL
TONOPAH, NEVADA — Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has decided to work for a male brothel in Nevada, part of a new campaign strategy “to serve all Nevada voters.”
FRANKEN INDUCTED INTO DEMOCRAT CONSPIRACY
MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Al Franken was approved Tuesday to join the US Senate. The Democratic Party will now involve him in their secret plans.
PhD APE GOES TO GEORGIA
ATLANTA, GA – Following four extra weeks of campaigning, Democratic challenger, Jim Martin lost by an impressive 15 percent.
LINCOLN RESURRECTED FOR OPEN SENATE SEAT
SPRINGFIELD, IL – In a move widely seen as political pandering, the Governor of Illinois announced an unusual choice for Obama’s seat in the Senate.
CHAOS CLOUD COVERS GUANTANAMO BAY
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA – Rumors that President-elect Barack Obama will close the Guantanamo Bay prison has left more than just humans concerned.
MCCAIN NEGOTIATES BETWEEN ANGELS & DEMONS
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – Angels and demons have quietly entered into peace talks, thanks to Senator John McCain!
McCain Challenges Obama to a Duel
Presidential nominee John McCain wants fellow nominee Barack Obama to put his campaign ads away and instead settle the election like gentlemen—by having a duel!
The bold challenge, publicly issued by McCain’s feisty Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin, would spare the American people from the typical smear campaigns and save millions of dollars in citizens’ donations, according to McCain.