BEIJING, CHINA – The Chaos Cloud has been spreading across Asia to finally center in on one of the world’s most polluted cities.
CHAOS CLOUD COVERS NEW HAVEN
NEW HAVEN, CT – The Chaos Cloud settled over New Haven City Hall yesterday in preparation for the start of official gay marriages.
CHAOS CLOUD COVERS GUANTANAMO BAY
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA – Rumors that President-elect Barack Obama will close the Guantanamo Bay prison has left more than just humans concerned.
OBATMA: CABINET MEMBER?
CHICAGO, IL – President-Elect Barack Obama will soon be appointing members to his cabinet, and insiders are predicting one surprising addition.
MCCAIN EBAYS GOVERNMENT SECRETS
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an attempt to boost his chances, McCain offered to fix the economy by selling secret government artifacts on Ebay.
ICE QUEEN CINDY MCCAIN
SVALBARD, NORWAY – Cindy McCain will return to her ice kingdom following the November elections should her husband not be victorious.
MCCAIN NEGOTIATES BETWEEN ANGELS & DEMONS
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – Angels and demons have quietly entered into peace talks, thanks to Senator John McCain!
KRAKEN GREETS RETURN OF USS INTREPID
NEW YORK, NY – Following three years of repair, the USS Intrepid’s return to Manhattan was greeted by the Tri-State Area’s only known Kraken.
MCCAIN-BORG UPGRADES FOR DEBATE
DALLAS, TX – Republican presidential nominee John McCain announced Monday he will suspend his campaign yet again in order to upgrade his cybernetic systems.