WASHINGTON – The White House has approved the redesign of U.S. currency. Barack Obama will be on the new dollar bill.

WASHINGTON, DC – The White House has officially renamed the U.S. Government of the U.S. Federal Family.

WASHINGTON, DC – The Super Congress met in secret last night. Word leaked that they will make the stock market rise and heal the earth!

CAMBRIDGE – A groundbreaking study has determined that 83% of the members of Congress are certified morons!

George Soros made a stunning announcement: he is leaving the Democrat Party and joining the GOP!

WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama called a “Peas Summit” to reignite the debt ceiling talks.

WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama issued an Executive Order raising his salary to $1 million per year.

WASHINGTON – The Republican National Committee and GOP leaders have conceded the 2012 election to President Barack Obama!

WASHINGTON – A day after reading the U.S. Constitution, Republicans will read the Bible in the house floor.

INDIA – An important ruling was handed down today regarding disputed land. The verdict: the land goes to Obama!