CAMBRIDGE, MA – A groundbreaking study has determined that 83% of the members of Congress are certified morons!
Debt Deal
SUPER CONGRESS TO MAKE STOCK MARKET SOAR!
WASHINGTON, DC – The Super Congress met in secret last night. Word leaked that they will make the stock market rise and heal the earth!
OBAMA THROWS "DOWNGRADE PARTY" AT WHITE HOUSE
WASHINGTON – For the first time in history the U.S. credit rating was downgraded – and the White House celebrated in style!
MATT DAMON TO GIVE ALL HIS MONEY TO GOVERNMENT
HOLLYWOOD – In what could be a new celebrity trend, Matt Damon, announced he will give all his future earnings to the U.S. government.