CAMBRIDGE, MA – A groundbreaking study has determined that 83% of the members of Congress are certified morons!
WASHINGTON, DC – The Super Congress met in secret last night. Word leaked that they will make the stock market rise and heal the earth!
WASHINGTON – For the first time in history the U.S. credit rating was downgraded – and the White House celebrated in style!
HOLLYWOOD – In what could be a new celebrity trend, Matt Damon, announced he will give all his future earnings to the U.S. government.
WASHINGTON – After a man was detained by the Secret Service for jumping a fence at the White House – Charlie Sheen jumped over, too.