CAMBRIDGE, MA – A new study out of the Harvard School of Nutrition shows that children who eat bags of Halloween candy have higher IQs.
obesity
FOOD POLICE ARREST KINDERGARTNERS
NORTH CAROLINA – The Food Police raided kindergarten classrooms across North Carolina and arrested over 175 students.
MICHELLE OBAMA PREGNANT!
WASHINGTON – The White House announced that Michelle Obama is pregnant with the couple’s third child.
THE FAT POLICE ARE COMING!
WASHINGTON – The Obama Administration has formed the world’s first Fat Police unit. They’re mission: arrest the obese.
WHITE HOUSE BANS FRENCH FRIES IN AMERICA
WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama issued an Executive Order banning the production and/or consumption of French Fries!
MCDONALD'S ADDS PROZAC TO HAPPY MEALS
Bowing to pressure from health advocates and the government, McDonald’s is putting “happy” in the Happy Meal.
"EAT YOUR PEAS" SUMMIT
WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama called a “Peas Summit” to reignite the debt ceiling talks.
DOCTORS WON'T TAKE FAT PATIENTS!
WASHINGTON – Under Obamacare, doctors can now refuse obese patients. And they are doing it!