CAMBRIDGE, MA – A groundbreaking study has determined that 83% of the members of Congress are certified morons!
Eric Cantor
SUPER CONGRESS TO MAKE STOCK MARKET SOAR!
WASHINGTON, DC – The Super Congress met in secret last night. Word leaked that they will make the stock market rise and heal the earth!
NANCY PELOSI: THE WORLD ENDS ON AUG. 2nd
WASHINGTON, DC – Nancy Pelosi went on all the news shows to make a proclamation: the world will end on August 2nd!
"EAT YOUR PEAS" SUMMIT
WASHINGTON, DC – President Obama called a “Peas Summit” to reignite the debt ceiling talks.
REPUBLICANS TO READ BIBLE ON HOUSE FLOOR
WASHINGTON – A day after reading the U.S. Constitution, Republicans will read the Bible in the house floor.
YOU CUT PROGRAM
RICHMOND, VA – One politician is putting some power back in the hands of the people!
ERIC CANTOR AND BRITNEY SPEARS
WASHINGTON, DC – Sparking bipartisan outrage on the Hill, House Minority Whip Eric Cantor admitted to skipping President Obama’s press conference to “Get his dance on.”