SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Weekly World News is proud to announce the birth of PhD Ape’s first gorilla child!
Month: December 2008
OBAMA DENIED AREA 51
LAS VEGAS, NV – President-Elect Obama’s streak of intergalactic bad luck continues this week as the Installation Commander of Area 51 refused to hand over the keys.
BATNEY'S BACK AT NO. 1
NEW YORK, NY – Britney Spears’ “Circus” has topped the charts this week, and she is ready to celebrate!
RAHMBO VS BLAGO
CHICAGO, IL – Sources inside the Obama Transition Team have confirmed that Rahm Emanuel tipped off FBI to Governor Rod Blagojevich’s schemes as payback.
BAT BOY MILK
SENECA FALLS, W.VA – America’s favorite mutant was spotted in line this weekend to see the movie Milk.
OPRAH LEANS ON WORLD'S FATTEST CAT
CHICAGO, IL – In the latest issue of O Magazine, Oprah reveals that during years of struggling with rollercoaster weight gain/loss she had one consistent shoulder to lean on – Tonya’s!
SARAH PALIN'S CHRISTMAS CARD
The Anonymous group has once again hacked into Sarah Palin’s e-mail account and provided Weekly World News with the first look at her upcoming Christmas card!
OBATMA WRONGLY ARRESTED
CHICAGO, IL – Obatma was wrongly arrested this morning for conspiring to sell Barack Obama’s vacant Senate seat.
WEEKLY WORLD NEWS IN TALKS TO BUY TRIBUNE
CHICAGO, IL – Sam Zell has met privately with an Alien contingent representing the interests of Weekly World News.
PhD APE HEADS TO VEGAS
LAS VEGAS, NV – Following a 13-day trial and 13 hours of jury deliberation, OJ Simpson was convicted on 11 varying charges.