PEORIA, IL – Federal authorities are helping SEIU unionize lemonade stands across the country.
fbi
CHINESE SPIES INVADE AMERICAN SWIMMING POOLS
PHILADELPHIA – Chinese spies, living in the U.S., haven taken over American swimming pools. Americans are burning up!
ALIENS RUN FOURTH BRANCH OF GOVERNMENT
WASHINGTON, DC – The Washington Post unveiled the first installment of its Top Secret America series, revealing that much of America is now being controlled by aliens.
JESUSITA FIRE CAUSED BY UFO
SANTA BARBARA, CA – The recent wildfire that destroyed dozens of homes in Southern California was started by flame-throwing UFO!
TERROR WATCH LIST INCLUDES BAT BOY
WASHINGTON, DC – The Department of Justice has concluded that the FBI’s “Terror Watch List” has more than 24,000 Americans, including Bat Boy, incorrectly included.
EASTER BUNNY IN REHAB?
RANCHO MIRAGE, CA – A six foot tall rabbit was seen leaving the Betty Ford Clinic this week. Is the Easter Bunny trying to clean up before his big day?
BAT BOY HUNTS MADOFF
SENECA FALLS, W.VA – Bernard Madoff may be free on bail from fraud charges but Bat Boy has pledged to see him punished!
RAHMBO VS BLAGO
CHICAGO, IL – Sources inside the Obama Transition Team have confirmed that Rahm Emanuel tipped off FBI to Governor Rod Blagojevich’s schemes as payback.
FEDS BUST ALIEN COCK FIGHTING RING
LOS LUNAS, NM – Federal Agents from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives raided an underground warehouse used to stage alien cock fighting.
Glow from Mars Creates Problems in Transylvania
Lovesick werewolves are causing big trouble in Transylvania — and the problem could spread to the United States