WASILLA, AK – Representatives from the McCain Campaign have confirmed that Vice Presidential candidate, Governor Sarah Palin, will spend the Columbus Day holiday on a witch hunt.

Accompanied by her spiritual advisor, Pastor Muthee, Palin will canvass her hometown of Wasilla for witches.  Muthee is famous for reducing crime in Kenya by ridding towns of the witches following the teachings of Satan.
Palin and Muthee believe that Wasilla, given the unflattering nickname “The Meth Capitol of Alaska,” is a prime target for a witch hunt.
“There has been a lot of talk lately about patriotism.  Nothing is less patriotic than Satan,” the Governor’s husband Todd told reporters outside of Speedy Donuts after a recent campaign stop in suburban Ohio.
“On Columbus Day, Sarah is going to do her patriotic duty of hunting down the witches that are defiling Wasilla with their vile practices.  What better way to spend America’s birthday than on a good old fashioned, Salem-style witch hunt?”
Responding to a question on if she thought killing witches was her patriotic duty, Governor Palin said, “Doggonit, you betcha!”
Asked if she believed Columbus Day, rather than Independence Day, marked America’s birthday, the Governor replied, “In what way, Charlie?”



  1. Like all other liberal media, you're in the tank for the socialist, communist, satanic, miscegenating heathen Democrats! And besides, witches are un-american, or else our forefathers wouldn't have killed so many of 'em back in 1692.

  2. I don't think witches have anything to do with patriotism. The Salem Witch trials were started by a pair of immature girls who wanted to find a way to get rid of the people they disliked. Sarah Palin and Muthee clearly are Christian fanatics who believe that misfortune should completely be blamed on witches. It means that if I hit you, its not my fault, some witch made me do it

  3. The story of witch trials came from a paranoia that had nothing to do with witches in reality, although in some cases it may have had real psyche trap situations. Certain things in domestic crops as ergot unknowingly.
    Today and even then mostly in the West most people were very ignorant about the nature and practice of witchcraft. It's the technicalities bearing in nature and the human body thought to survive dead that becomes the problem for the seekers, because such natures are not fabricated, they are original in all beings, that's why!
    The witch finder is probably ignorant except for sociological influences by witches, the secret that I have is not to interfere except through possible evidence of foul sorts, then attempting to correct situations diplomatically would be my quest. I am not a friend of witches whom use means to demand pay for services.


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