LOS ANGELES – The Alien Mothership hovering above Los Angeles finally had enough of Mel Gibson’s racist tirades and has called him back home.
Bella may prefer Edward to Jacob, but when it comes to Kristen Stewart, she’s Team Alien all the way.
BREAKING – Washington, D.C. The White House announced this morning that they will be putting Bat Boy in charge of the newly created “Perfect Citizen” cyber program.
LOS ANGELES – Judge Marsha Revel threw tarballs at Lindsay Lohan’s while sentencing her to jail.
PHILADELPHIA, PA – As temperatures neared 100 Monday, after hovering in the high 90s during the week, a Southside alien was taken to Mercy Hospital suffering from heatstroke.
BREAKING – On the advice of an alien, CNN host Larry King announced that he will be leaving his nightly talk show this Fall.
EAST HAMPTON, NY – Lady Gaga was thrown out Santos Party House in New York City last night and this morning was found in Jerry Seinfeld’s house in East Hampton.
ABERDEEN, UK – Mr. Russell Moffatt in Hardgate was on his way to an appointment with his ophthalmologist when he spotted a five-foot tall boy with a horse’s head.
NEW YORK – Mayor Bloomberg announced that all New York cab drivers will be issued bullet proof vests.