SEATTLE – Police are using a new tool for law enforcement that neutralizes suspects by temporarily blinding them with a green laser.
WASHINGTON – Several days after Michele Bachmann won approval for The Tea Party Caucus in the House, Nancy Pelosi has announced she will join.
COUNTY WILTSHIRE – Archaeologists working for BP have made a startling new find at Stonehenge – oil.
LINCOLN, NE – The Gideons have expanded their hotel distribution system. In addition to bibles, they will now be placing a stripper in every hotel room.
WASHINGTON – The Center for Education Policy has released the results of a study that proves conclusively that farting raises IQ levels in boys.
CANANDAIGUA, NY – Ringo Starr was leaving the stage after his concert last night, when Pete Best, the first drummer of The Beatles shot him with a handgun.
NEW YORK, NY – They put on their headphones, drape hoods over their head and drift off into a world of “Mel highs.”
WASHINGTON – The Senate voted 60-40 on Tuesday to move forward with buying new houses and cars for all unemployed Americans.
BOURBON COUNTY – Killer Cows, first discovered in South Texas last year, ambled into Kansas today. Local residents are frightened.
WASHINGTON – Broadway came to the White House for a night and President Obama’s portrayal of Fela was a smash hit!