MARY-KATE OLSEN IS OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD

NEW YORK, NY – Mary-Kate Olsen, tired of being a celebrity, is heading off to Oz to find the Wizard.

After years of media silence following her public battle with anorexia and the death of her friend Heath Ledger’s, Mary-Kate Olsen is talking again.  She recently gave an interview to Marie Claire and described her life as childhood star as being like “a little monkey performer.”   She said she “wouldn’t wish her upbringing on anyone.”

Mary-Kate, the billionaire, told Marie Claire that she was finally grounded in reality and had a new mission in life – to go to Oz and find the Wizard.  She cut her interview short, hopped on her bicycle and headed off to say goodbye to “Auntie Em.” She picked up her sister, Ashley, along the way and put her in the basket on her bike.

M-K, who has been spending most of her time working on her fashion line – The Row – feels that if she can just get to Oz then she can eventually find her way back home, wherever that is. M-K was last seen pedaling her bicycle toward Kansas in hopes of getting sucked into a tornado.  “Here’s hoping,” said Sal Pappalado whose two daughters made him watch The Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley over-and-over. “Those videos drove me nuts. I hate those twins!!…. But I really loved The Case of the Fun House.  That’s a classic.”

Stopping to eat a few peas on the way through Ohio, M-K talked about her journey to Oz. “I’m not really worried about the munchkins or the flying monkeys because I feel that I understand them both.  I am excited to meet The Good Witch of The West because she reminds me a lot of my best friend, Paris Hilton.  Paris has a crown and magic wand, too.”  Hilton helped M-K pick out her ruby shoes before she left.

Most M-K fans assume that Mary-Kate will hook-up with a lion, scarecrow and tin man and then head off to find the wizard.  But, M-K detractors think she’ll actually turn out to be the Wicked Witch of the East – and will eventually melt away.

So, is she Dorothy?

Or the Witch?

Either way, WWN will be waiting for her, when she returns from Oz.   She stole our bike!