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homeland security

SOFIA VERGARA DEPORTED

November 20, 2013 by Tap Vann

Homeland Security has deported Sofia Vergara after a number of “incidents” in Miami.

Categories Headlines Tags colombia, Delano Hotel, deportation, deported, fight, homeland security, miami, modern family, Napolitano, New Year, Nick Loeb, sofia vergara, Vergara

EMERGENCY ALIEN ALERT SYSTEM TEST – NOV. 9th

November 9, 2011 by Frank Lake

REMINDER – On November 9th, the U.S. Government is testing its Emergency Alien Alert System to prepare for the upcoming alien attack!

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Categories Aliens, Headlines, TopStory Tags fcc, golfing, homeland security, Janet Napolitano

ELECTRONIC TATTOO

August 12, 2011 by Tap Vann

WASHINGTON, D.C. – The government will be using electronic tattoos to monitor “suspicious” citizens.

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Categories Headlines, TopStory Tags Big Brother, cia, fbi, homeland security, Jay Carney, nanotechnology, Researchers, tattoo, Thought Police

TAIWANESE ANIMATION ABOUT TSA GROPING

November 17, 2010 by Frank Lake

Check out this Taiwanese animation about the TSA and their plans to “touch your junk”.

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Categories Headlines, TopStory Tags animation, groping, homeland security, Janet Napolitano, scanners, Taiwanese, TSA

TSA SELLS NAKED BODY SCANS ONLINE

November 16, 2010 by Frank Lake

WASHINGTON – The TSA announced that they will be selling naked body scans of passengers on EBay to help pay off the national debt.

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Categories Headlines, TopStory Tags body scanners, Gizmodo, homeland security, Janet Napolitano, naked, scanners, TSA

TSA TO STRIP SEARCH ALL PASSENGERS

November 11, 2010 by Frank Lake

WASHINGTON – Janet Napolitano announced today that, due to increased threats, all airline passengers will be strip-searched.

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Categories Headlines, TopStory Tags body scanners, homeland security, naked, Napolitano, strip, TSA

BLUE UFO OVER BOSTON

November 10, 2010 by Frank Lake

BOSTON – The same UFO that was seen over Virginia two days ago was seen over Boston last night!

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Categories Aliens, Headlines, TopStory Tags alien, alien invasion, Aliens, blue ufo, boston, Centerville, dc, Department of Defense, fenway park, harvard, homeland security, ufo expert, ufos, virginia

GREENLAND ICE CHUNK HEADED FOR MANHATTAN!

August 7, 2010 by Frank Lake

NEW YORK – A Greenland ice chunk four times the size of Manhattan has broken off and is headed… for Manhattan!

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Categories Headlines, TopStory Tags climate change, global warming, homeland security, ice sheet, Janet Napolitano, Napolitano, obama, Russia

ED ANGER RETURNS

January 5, 2009 by Ed Anger

My America, the America I know and love has been in a coma. For too long it has been asleep at the wheel… the wheel of a foreign-made car. It’s time to wake up and tell the rest of the world to GET OFF OUR LAWN!!!

Categories Ed Anger Tags big three, chrysler, clint eastwood, conservative, detroit, Ed Anger, edanger, ford, gm, guantanamo bay, homeland security, michigan, rick wagoner

Bigfoot Captured in Catskills

September 8, 2008 by Sarah Haddad

U.S. put on terror alert!

Categories Headlines, Mutants Tags al qaeda, Bigfoot, catskill mountains, comedy club, homeland security, new york, osama bin laden
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