NEW YORK – A Greenland ice chunk four times the size of Manhattan has broken off and is headed… for Manhattan!
Government officials are scrambling.  Manhattan is under threat from a gigantic ice chunk!  Residents are on high alert.  The chunk is moving fast and if it keeps on course, the city may have to be evacuated. Again, this chunk could destroy half of Manhattan if it slams directly into it.   Code Red!
Mayor Michael Bloomberg held a press conference this morning. “We have our Emergency Response and Evacuation teams on high alert. We are monitoring the situation carefully.”
A University of Delaware professor of ocean science, David de Andrade, said that “in the early morning hours of August 5, 2010, an ice island four times the size of Manhattan split off from northern Greenland.” Satellite imagery of this remote area south of the North Pole, reveals that Petermann Glacier (named after a Seinfeld character), lost about one-quarter of its 43-mile long floating ice-shelf. Petermann Glacier was one of the two largest remaining glaciers in Greenland and connects the great Greenland ice sheet directly with the ocean.
What is unusual about this ice chunk is that it is moving at 150 knots (172 mph).  It could hit Manhattan…in ten hours!
Homeland Security Chief, Janet Napolitano, is in New York monitoring the situation. There are rumors that this isn’t a normal ice chunk and that it may have been created by the Russians.  Apparently, Vladmir Putin has been fascinated by Greenland glaciers for the last twenty years. “He’s always had a secret desire to attack Manhattan with a chunk of ice, and it looks like he may just have figured out a way to do it,” said Napolitano.
Even though some Manhattan residents were screaming in the streets (which had nothing to do with the news), they are ready.  A large number of Manhattan Minute Men have gone down to Battery Park with Anti Ice Chunk Guns.  These are large guns that look like canons.  “We’ll blow the sucker out of the water, before it even gets close,”  said David Wosky.
It’s tense in Manhattan!  And the ice chunk is also a problem.  Get ready to run for your lives!…

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  1. Finally a source for the real story. All those global warming wingnuts saying "oh no here we go…its happening," when really the Russian angle is the more plausible. Thank God I live in the Midwest right now, that's gonna be one big, bad shake up when that baby hits. It's probably remote controlled.

  2. The gov. needs to have fighter jets pulverize it out at sea. What if it hits a luxury liner carrying Kate Winslet and Leanardo Dicaprio? That would be terrible!

  3. i read that this ice sheet is 600 feet thick, but i realy do not think it will hit Manhattan, it would have been all over the news at CNN. This is a big fat joke, and hopefully it will not hit a cruise liner, this would be catastrophic. Anybody knows where this thing is heading exactly????

  4. I think global warming is hurting tiger woods golf game! Maybe that is why Tiger Woods is working with Bat Boy

  5. Congratulations on being the first site on the web to publish the TRUE FACTS and the velocity of this nasty piece of ice.
    The conspirators who want to rule the world by making coal look black secretly installed a portable nuclear powered ice-core sampling system. It was the heat exhaust from that sucker that caused the calving and the uncontrolled spinning of the drill bit caused it's rapid exit from the Arctic.
    Come to think of it, all of this makes a lot more sense than a lot of stuff in the mainstream media and WUWT.
    Nicely written. 😉


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