Kentucky Republican Sen. Rand Paul has reportedly been arrested by the Transportation Security Administration.
MIAMI – The TSA caught a man with snakes in a pants.
TSA: “EVERYONE WILL BE GROPED”
WASHINGTON – Amid protests, the TSA is not backing down. They have ordered all passengers to be groped at security checkpoints.
TAIWANESE ANIMATION ABOUT TSA GROPING
Check out this Taiwanese animation about the TSA and their plans to “touch your junk”.
TSA SELLS NAKED BODY SCANS ONLINE
WASHINGTON – The TSA announced that they will be selling naked body scans of passengers on EBay to help pay off the national debt.
TSA TO STRIP SEARCH ALL PASSENGERS
WASHINGTON – Janet Napolitano announced today that, due to increased threats, all airline passengers will be strip-searched.
CELL PHONE GUN
NAPLES – Cell phone guns are being used by the Mafia, and criminals, all around the world.
NEW AIRLINE RESTRICTIONS
WASHINGTON, DC – New airline restrictions will soon be taking effect. Weekly World News has acquired a list of what to expect.