GERMANY – A commercially developed jetpack, SkyFlash, is ready for liftoff!
Janet Napolitano
EMERGENCY ALIEN ALERT SYSTEM TEST – NOV. 9th
REMINDER – On November 9th, the U.S. Government is testing its Emergency Alien Alert System to prepare for the upcoming alien attack!
TAIWANESE ANIMATION ABOUT TSA GROPING
Check out this Taiwanese animation about the TSA and their plans to “touch your junk”.
TSA SELLS NAKED BODY SCANS ONLINE
WASHINGTON – The TSA announced that they will be selling naked body scans of passengers on EBay to help pay off the national debt.
BLUE UFO OVER VIRGINIA
CENTERVILLE, VA – A blue UFO was confirmed over Virginia last night!
ATTACK OF THE TERROR BABIES!
LAREDO, TX – Texas lawmakers have confirmed that Terror Babies are crawling across the border and heading for… you!
GREENLAND ICE CHUNK HEADED FOR MANHATTAN!
NEW YORK – A Greenland ice chunk four times the size of Manhattan has broken off and is headed… for Manhattan!
ED ANGER: "THE SYSTEM DIDN'T WORK!"
I’m madder than Rosie O’Donnell in Economy! That Janet Neopolitan we’ve got running the country’s security turns out to be as stupid as she looks!