GERMANY – A commercially developed jetpack, SkyFlash, is ready for liftoff!
Janet Napolitano
EMERGENCY ALIEN ALERT SYSTEM TEST – NOV. 9th
REMINDER – On November 9th, the U.S. Government is testing its Emergency Alien Alert System to prepare for the upcoming alien attack!
TSA SELLS NAKED BODY SCANS ONLINE
WASHINGTON – The TSA announced that they will be selling naked body scans of passengers on EBay to help pay off the national debt.
GREENLAND ICE CHUNK HEADED FOR MANHATTAN!
NEW YORK – A Greenland ice chunk four times the size of Manhattan has broken off and is headed… for Manhattan!
ED ANGER: "THE SYSTEM DIDN'T WORK!"
I’m madder than Rosie O’Donnell in Economy! That Janet Neopolitan we’ve got running the country’s security turns out to be as stupid as she looks!