congress

DARN FOOLS IN WASHINGTON SHUT DOWN THE GOV’MENT AGAIN — AND I’M ABOUT READY TO SHUT DOWN MY VEINS!

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(That’s right, it’s me, your favorite red-faced ranter from the holler, spittin’ mad as a wet hen in a hailstorm. Weekly World News don’t pay me enough to put up with this hogwash, but somebody’s gotta say it!) Listen up, you pencil-necked, latte-sippin bureaucrats and their soy-boy sidekicks in Congress! Another government shutdown? AGAIN? What … READ MORE

LOCH NESS MONSTER DISCOVERED — IN CONGRESS!

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Elected by a landslide But now the Loch Ness monster has been discovered in a different place entirely—the US Congress. Scientists have revealed that Eric Golladay (R-ID), a first-term Congressman who was elected in a landslide, is actually the famous Loch Ness monster. “He was wearing a hat, so at first it wasn’t clear,” said Lucille Jenkins, a researcher. “And his … READ MORE

IMPEACHMENT TOYS – Hot SELLERS

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“It could be bigger than this past Christmas season!” enthused entrepreneur Wink DePalma, president and founder of Traumatoyzed Inc., speaking of his upcoming line of Impeachment Toys. “Let’s face it, the impeachment trial will be a lot funnier than the hearings, with all these stone-faced old white Senate guys trying hard not to laugh, cry … READ MORE

PHD APE TO THE RESCUE!

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WASHINGTON, DC – The United States Congress and The President of the United States have finally agreed on one thing – Ph.D. Ape is the only one who can bring the country together during the Impeachment crisis. This week the House of Representatives voted to officially authorize an impeachment inquiry. The Democrats in the House … READ MORE

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