AN INCEL’S GUIDE TO DATING PUBLISHED!
CRITICS AGREE: “WTF?” For those of you who haven’t noticed, there are a lot of surreal movements lurking under the surface of The American Dream. One of them is the … READ MORE
Brick Rivers
ROBOT OVERLORDS ABORT U.S.A. INVASION!
“IT WOULD’VE BEEN TOO CRUEL,” SAYS HEAD ROBOT, “LIKE DROP-KICKING A KITTEN.” In June of 2019, the small, sluggish burg of Constant Falls, the government designated Georgia “Ground Zero” in … READ MORE
ANCIENT EGYPTIAN BOWLING LEAGUE DISCOVERED IN DIG!
BOWLING BALLS AND PINS UNEARTHED AS WELL! Last November, when the headlines were driven by the first wave of COVID-19, archeologists in Egypt unearthed more than 100 beautifully painted wooden … READ MORE
SNOW WHITE’S PRINCE ACCUSED OF SEXUAL MISCONDUCT!
LIFE-SAVING KISS DEEMED “NON-CONSENSUAL” AND A BAD EXAMPLE. On a lovely street tucked into Burbank’s suburbs is a block featuring nothing but tiny “fairy” cottages. At the end of the … READ MORE
BAT BOY’S BAND IS ON THE RUN! PURSUED BY THE FBI!
HIS WORLD TOUR IS FORCED TO GO UNDERGROUND! The lights dim in “Florida Man’s Cave” in Daytona, Florida. This reporter is sitting next to concert promoter Dick Hyman. “You’re going … READ MORE
CLASSIC MONSTER RETIREMENT HOME EXPANDS CAMPUS!
WELCOMES THE CLASS OF THE 1950S. Entering the 2,000 plus acres Monster Retirement home after dark is like entering a different world, several different worlds, in fact. This reporter is … READ MORE
ARE YOU DATING A WITCH?
PROFESSOR SAYS THAT THERE ARE MORE HUMAN-WITCH COUPLES THAN YOU’D THINK. Professor Julio Chinchilla, holds up a copy of his new book, “That Voodoo That You Do To Me,” and … READ MORE
WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO CHERUB!
“IT’S LIKE LIVING WITH A BIG PIGEON,” SAYS UNIMPRESSED DAD. For all those that don’t believe in miracles, they should visit the home of Vinnie and Darla D’Vine. Located in … READ MORE
TOILET TURNS INTO SPACE-TIME PORTAL WHEN FLUSHED
“AFTER ABOUT SIXTEEN FLUSHES AND THE TOILET SPITTING UP VIKINGS, I STARTED TO GET SUSPICIOUS,” SAYS OWNER. The hand is extended, trembling above the lever. Slowly it grips the wooden … READ MORE
DID ABE LINCOLN FAKE HIS DEATH?
RECENT SIGHTINGS LEADS HISTORIAN TO SAY “PROBABLY.” April 15th, 2021 marked the 156th anniversary of President Abraham Lincoln’s assassination. Or did it? One scholar, who has viewed photographic evidence showing … READ MORE