MAN USES MUMMY WRAPPINGS WHEN HE RUNS OUT OF TP
“IMAGINE OUR EMBARRASSMENT WHEN THE MUMMY WOKE UP!” SAYS THE MAN. Last March, when orders …
Brick Rivers
BEACHED WHALE FOUND IN NEW JERSEY BASEMENT
“WE BLAME CLIMATE CHANGE,” SAYS POLICE A 125,000 pound beached whale was discovered, today, in …
HERE COMES KING KOW!
SAYS STUNNED DAIRY FARMER: “I THINK IT WAS SOMETHING IN THE WATER.” When rumors starting …
SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION CASES IN U.S. ON THE RISE
SAYS EXPERT: “PEOPLE ARE OVERLOADING ON B.S.!” A recent poll taken by the Pew-Pew-Pew! Foundation …
U.S. TO FIGHT “MURDER HORNETS” WITH HOMEGROWN “KILLER BEES.”
“NOBODY MESSES WITH OUR BEES,” SAYS BEEKEEPER. Because America isn’t suffering enough, it’s now apparent …
READ MOREU.S. TO FIGHT “MURDER HORNETS” WITH HOMEGROWN “KILLER BEES.”
EXCLUSIVE: MEET THE “REAL” DOCTOR BLEACH!
HE CALLS HIMSELF A “TIDE POD CASTER” AND HAS A DEGREE FROM TRUMP UNIVERSITY. Two …
ANIMALS RECLAIM CITY NIGHTLIFE DURING LOCKDOWN!
“MUCH TO OUR SURPRISE, THEY SEEM TO BE FREQUENTING MUSIC CLUBS.” Dr. Atlas Mulrooney, a …
THE JERSEY DEVIL SPEARHEADS PANDEMIC DELIVERY PLAN!
“IF YOU CAN’T DEPEND ON YOUR GOVERNMENT, YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON MYTHIC CREATURES!” When …
READ MORETHE JERSEY DEVIL SPEARHEADS PANDEMIC DELIVERY PLAN!
ATLANTIS RESURFACES! RECONSIDERS! RESUBMERGES!
“WHAT IN HADES WAS I THINKING?” SAYS KING. The legendary lost continent of Atlantis, long-thought …
COUNTRY CROONER CHANGES NAME!
SAYS LES MISERABLES: “THEY KEPT ON ASKING FOR ‘FRENCHY’ SONGS!” As a child growing up …