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Brick Rivers

WILL THE HOLLYWOOD STRIKES BRING ABOUT A NEW WAVE OF PUPPET SHOWS?

August 14, 2023 by Brick Rivers

“I’M BETTING ON IT,” A SHADY PRODUCER TELLS BRICK RIVERS! Recently, the writers attempted to meet with studio and streaming heads for the first time in over three months. The … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags hollywood, puppet shows, sag, writers strike

EASTER BUNNY UNION CANCELS EASTER DELIVERIES!

April 7, 2023 by Brick Rivers

“We tried using facemasks. It was like hopping around in a big sack!” says union president. Jack Bunny, the head of the American Easter Bunny Union, has officially cancelled all … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags easter, easter bunny

ANTI-CHRISTMAS CULT BUSTED IN BUFFALO!

December 23, 2022 by Brick Rivers

“SANTA’S CRUEL AND MEAN,” DECLARES ONE ANTI-TINSEL TERRORIST! It’s twenty-one degrees outside the cab of this BearCat SWAT vehicle. The wind shrieks and the waves of rain pummeling the cab … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Mutants Tags Bunnies, christmas

IN HOLLYWOOD, MONSTER MARRIAGE COUNSELING IS THE NEW “TREND!”

February 6, 2023December 8, 2022 by Brick Rivers

“YOU SAW HER. YOU GOT HER. NOW, WHAT?”  Not satisfied with delivering such cultural milestones as roller boogie, New Age cults, the Marvel Universe and Ronald Reagan to the world, … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Mutants Tags vampires

TOILET TURNS INTO SPACE-TIME PORTAL WHEN FLUSHED

September 23, 2022September 22, 2022 by Brick Rivers

“AFTER ABOUT SIXTEEN FLUSHES AND THE TOILET SPITTING UP VIKINGS, I STARTED TO GET SUSPICIOUS,” SAYS OWNER. The hand is extended, trembling above the lever. Slowly it grips the wooden … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Paranormal, Science Tags portals, toilets

THE RETURN OF BOBSTRADAMUS!

March 13, 2022March 2, 2022 by Brick Rivers

NOSTRADAMUS’ KID BROTHER SIZES UP 2022. As we slog into the third month of 2022, it’s becoming obvious that this year is going to be screwier than last year. Marching … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags Bobstradamus, nostradamus, prophet, seer

WAS “THE LAST SUPPER” REALLY A CELEBRITY ROAST?

February 11, 2022 by Brick Rivers

ONE SCIENTIST SAYS “YES!” Most professors of Art History and a hefty amount of podiatrists conclude that there are three images of art, recognized all over the world: The Crucifixion, … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags Celebrity Roast, Jeff Ross, jesus, Last Supper, Roasts

DEAD STRIPPER FOUND IN CAKE!

January 11, 2022January 6, 2022 by Brick Rivers

STRIPPER BAKED IN CAKE CAUSES HAVOC AT BACHELOR’S PARTY AND BAR MITZVAH “It just wasn’t Kosher!’ declares Bar Mitzvah boy’s Mom. Police descended upon Cross-Eyed Betty’s Bakery in Brooklyn today … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags dead stripper, stripper

SANTA HIRES OUTSIDE PROTECTION THIS YEAR!

December 3, 2021 by Brick Rivers

WILL WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS SAVE CHRISTMAS? It was just about a week ago that this WWN stalwart received a strange phone call. “Brick? This is Santa Claus. I need your … READ MORE

Categories Headlines Tags protection, santa claus, werewolves

MEET THE MOST HATEFUL MAN IN AMERICA!

November 15, 2021 by Brick Rivers

“HELLO, I HATE YOU ALL,” HE GREETED. Our story began last month when Guinness World Records, headquartered in London, anointed Ned Demeanor the “Most Hateful Man In America.” “We were … READ MORE

Categories Headlines, Opinion Tags angry man, hateful, most hated in america
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