ANTI-CHRISTMAS CULT BUSTED IN BUFFALO!
“SANTA’S CRUEL AND MEAN,” DECLARES ONE ANTI-TINSEL TERRORIST! It’s twenty-one degrees outside the cab of this BearCat SWAT vehicle. The wind shrieks and the waves of rain pummeling the cab … READ MORE
Brick Rivers
IN HOLLYWOOD, MONSTER MARRIAGE COUNSELING IS THE NEW “TREND!”
“YOU SAW HER. YOU GOT HER. NOW, WHAT?” Not satisfied with delivering such cultural milestones as roller boogie, New Age cults, the Marvel Universe and Ronald Reagan to the world, … READ MORE
TOILET TURNS INTO SPACE-TIME PORTAL WHEN FLUSHED
“AFTER ABOUT SIXTEEN FLUSHES AND THE TOILET SPITTING UP VIKINGS, I STARTED TO GET SUSPICIOUS,” SAYS OWNER. The hand is extended, trembling above the lever. Slowly it grips the wooden … READ MORE
THE RETURN OF BOBSTRADAMUS!
NOSTRADAMUS’ KID BROTHER SIZES UP 2022. As we slog into the third month of 2022, it’s becoming obvious that this year is going to be screwier than last year. Marching … READ MORE
WAS “THE LAST SUPPER” REALLY A CELEBRITY ROAST?
ONE SCIENTIST SAYS “YES!” Most professors of Art History and a hefty amount of podiatrists conclude that there are three images of art, recognized all over the world: The Crucifixion, … READ MORE
DEAD STRIPPER FOUND IN CAKE!
STRIPPER BAKED IN CAKE CAUSES HAVOC AT BACHELOR’S PARTY AND BAR MITZVAH “It just wasn’t Kosher!’ declares Bar Mitzvah boy’s Mom. Police descended upon Cross-Eyed Betty’s Bakery in Brooklyn today … READ MORE
SANTA HIRES OUTSIDE PROTECTION THIS YEAR!
WILL WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS SAVE CHRISTMAS? It was just about a week ago that this WWN stalwart received a strange phone call. “Brick? This is Santa Claus. I need your … READ MORE
MEET THE MOST HATEFUL MAN IN AMERICA!
“HELLO, I HATE YOU ALL,” HE GREETED. Our story began last month when Guinness World Records, headquartered in London, anointed Ned Demeanor the “Most Hateful Man In America.” “We were … READ MORE
FIRST CERTIFIED HAUNTED HOTEL OPENS IN AMERICA!
NEW OWNER AND GHOSTS BECOME BUSINESS PARTNERS! Staring up at The Helstrom Hotel in Berry Hills, New Jersey, one can’t help being transported to another time, another place. The Hotel … READ MORE
AN INCEL’S GUIDE TO DATING PUBLISHED!
CRITICS AGREE: “WTF?” For those of you who haven’t noticed, there are a lot of surreal movements lurking under the surface of The American Dream. One of them is the … READ MORE