HOLLYWOOD – Osama Bin Laden is set to make a cameo appearance in the The Hangover 2!
J.B. Smitts
CONGRESS REPEALS DADT
WASHINGTON – The Senate voted to repeal the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy for the military, then applied it to Congress!
OPRAH’S ALL-NUDE EPISODE!
CHICAGO – Oprah Winfrey announced that she will be broadcasting her first all-nude episode!
NAZI SCRAPBOOKS FOUND!
GERMANY – A rare Nazi photo album has been discovered, the personal property of Nazi SS officer Karl Höcker.
MICHAEL JACKSON SPOTTED – ON THE MOON!
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – Photos from International Space Station reveal undeniable evidence that Michael is not dead – he’s living on the moon!
CELEBRATION MURDERER ESCAPES JAIL!
CELEBRATION, FL – The man responsible for the murder escaped prison. Now he’s on the loose with a gang of costumed murderers!
PRIVATE SPACECRAFT BRINGS BACK ALIENS!
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL – The SpaceX Falcon 9, America’s first commercially-owned space craft, returned to earth with – aliens!
JUSTIN BEIBER CLONED
VANCOUVER – Scientists have successfully cloned Justin Beiber. They plan to form the world’s greatest boy band!