NEW YORK – An anonymous donor offered Derek Jeter $100 million to ditch his new Yankee deal and join the Red Sox. Jeter agreed.
J.B. Smitts
AIR FORCE UNVEILS FLYING SAUCER
COLORADO SPRINGS – After years of research, the United States Air Force has unveiled a top-secret air craft – the first U.S. flying saucer!
SALEM WITCH ARRESTED
SALEM, MA – A Salem woman has been indicted by federal agents after posting a poisonous apple pie recipe online!
ZOMBIE TURKEYS
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The U.S. Center for Disease Control has issued a warning: zombie turkeys are on the loose!
BAT BOY BALLOON
NEW YORK – Bat Boy fans, take to the streets! The mutant’s balloon has been removed from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade!
SARAH PALIN IS A ROBOT!
JUNEAU, ALASKA – Sarah Palin is a robot and she/it malfunctioned during her new reality show!
BIGFOOT SPOTTED IN GAY BAR
SAN FRANCISCO – New evidence of Bigfoot’s existence: he was spotted inside a San Francisco gay bar!
CRUISE SHIP PASSENGERS ABDUCTED BY ALIENS
SAN DIEGO – Passengers aboard a Carnival Cruise ship were not stranded at sea… they were abducted by aliens!
CHILEAN MINER FALLS DOWN MANHOLE IN NYC MARATHON!
NEW YORK- Edison Pena, one the Chilean miners, fell into a manhole at mile 13 of the NYC Marathon!