The thunder of Zeus be upon you, O mortals! The hour of gloom has arrived!
Month: March 2009
GOOGLE STREET VIEW SHOWS UFOS
LONDON – A fleet of nine flying objects has been spotted on Google’s Street View in East London. Are aliens revealing themselves to the public?
APRIL FOOLS WORM REMOVAL
BOSTON, MA – Starting tomorrow, the malicious computer worm Conficker.c will turn computers into zombies. Will one of them be yours?
FIJI MERMAID REQUESTS FAFSA AID
LEON, SAMOA – A Fiji Mermaid was denied federal student aid, and debate over mutant and Islander rights has exploded.
PHANTOM ALERT
BALTIMORE, MD – A new GPS software program is being offered, which alerts any car driver to the presence of nearby Phantoms of the Opera.
MADONNA’S ADOPTION
MALAWI – Madonna’s adoption hearing in Malawi was held behind closed-doors today, further fueling rumors that she is after an alien child!
TED STEVENS INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT CLOSED
ANCHORAGE, AK – Ted Stevens International Airport closed this weekend due to volcanic ash. Former Senator Ted Stevens believes it’s all part of a liberal conspiracy.
ED ANGER SAYS: AL GORE IS AN EARTH HOUR HYPOCRITE
I’m madder than a hippie chick who’s run out of hemp tampons!